"Yeah, he's over in post-op with Colonel Harrison." BJ could the see distress on her face and in her eyes. He had known for a long time that she was in love with Hawkeye, even though she had never said anything. He could tell by the way that she had acted whenever he was around. Her face would light up whenever he walked into a room. And when Hawkeye would hit on one of the nurses, she would always act so mad and disgusted, but she was really just jealous. BJ had tried, many times, to get them together with no success and then when they said good-bye he didn't think Hawkeye would let her go but he did. But now, they would have another chance. This is just what they need. BJ thought to himself and smiled.
Margaret didn't see the smile on BJ's face. She was lost in thought about Hawkeye. He's here? She thought to herself. Her first instinct was to run out of the supply room and over to post-op to see for herself that he was really here but she stopped herself. No, I'm not going to do it. She thought to herself. We're just friends. She told herself but deep down she knew that wasn't true. She loved him very much.
She thought about that night they spent together in that abandoned hut. She remembered how he held her and kissed her and how safe she felt in his arms. She also remembered the next morning and how he had pushed her away. She admitted it was partly her fault. All her talk about how they would have a wonderful life together and how she was going to make him into the perfect solider must have scared him. What was I thinking? She asked to herself.
After they returned to the 4077th, she didn't want to admit to herself that she had feelings for him. She was still married and she was determined to make her marriage work. Then when her divorce was final, she had tried telling him how she felt but every time she tried he had made it very clear that he wanted to just be friends. So she followed his lead and kept their relationship to being friends and only friends.
No one knew the agony she had gone through this past month. It had been terrible for her. First the bus incident, then he was sent to the psychiatric hospital. She didn't know if he was ever going to come back and he did, he was only a shadow of the man she had once known. Fear and sadness had replaced the laughter and mischief that used to shine in his eyes. She had tried many times to talk to him but he always pushed her away. Then there was the good-bye kiss. She hadn't planned on kissing him but when the time came to say good-bye, it was all she wanted to do. She remembered how good it felt to be in his arms again. She didn't want to let him go. But she did. She had thought that kiss was the end for them. She never expected to see him again and until this very moment she hadn't realized how much she missed him. She felt tears well up in her eyes and the a hand touched her shoulder and she snapped back to reality.
"What. Oh, I'm sorry BJ?" She looked at him and tried to smile.
"Are you okay? You look like you're about to cry." He knew she was thinking about Hawkeye.
"I'm fine." She got up. She didn't want talk about Hawkeye, especially to BJ. She knew she could trust him but he was Hawkeye's best friend and she didn't want to put him in an awkward situation by telling him about her feelings.
"Are you sure?" He was concerned
"Yes." She smiled and tried to sound convincing. "Now, where were we?"
He knew she didn't want to talk about it and he knew better than to push it. So he figured the best was to just continue with the inventory. "We were counting the bandages?"
It took them nearly 3 hours to finish the inventory. When they were done, they were both exhausted. BJ sat down on an old wooden crate. "Pull up a crate and have a seat." He motioned to another crate next to him.
She moved the crate in front of him and sat facing him. She avoided making eye contact and he knew why. They sat there in silence for a few minutes until finally, BJ couldn't take it anymore. "I can't do this. I can't sit here and pretend I don't know what's going on. Margaret, I know you have feelings for Hawkeye."
"We're just friends." Margaret tried to sound convincing.
"Come on Margaret it's me, BJ. You don't have to pretend with me."