This is my view of what Hawkeye thought about Margaret during the episode called Inga Season 7.
I own nothing and have written this purely for fun.
Benjamin Franklin she actually called me Benjamin Franklin. She's never done that before. That and the way she looked at me while she was lecturing me on my behavior toward her nurses and women in general pulled me up short, I realised then how much she cared. Although she'd never actually say it.
At the time we were standing outside the mess tent and she was raving at me. Then she called me by my given name Benjamin Franklin; not Captain, Doctor, Hawkeye or even Pierce. It was then I realized how much I missed being called by it, the sound of my name reminded me of home, of Dad of peace. And I knew then I'd die rather than see anyone hurt her.
The Pierce - Houlihan mutual admiration society, it's a foregone conclusion that at any given time neither of its two members are ever in the same mood at the same time. Why? Because when one is sad the other needs to be happy. One exhausted the other has to be alive. To balance each other, they say opposites attract don't they?
In the beginning we were no more then colleagues - the fact she's the best damned nurse I have ever seen anywhere never mind here made working with her easy. Nursing and Margaret go together well. The nature of our work here means we have to be in close quarters and Major Houlihan is regular army and most of us just aren't, we are what did BJ say once oh yes "temporarily misplaced civilians"
While Trapper and Henry were here our lives barely touched each others, only when the circumstances pushed us together. But when they did we clung to each other as if recognizing something in the other. Our first tentative steps taken towards building a trust and a friendship - one that I hope will last a lifetime as well as a war.
Back then we rarely sought each other out - although we never pushed the other away - maybe we were testing each other even then or maybe it was a warning neither of us choose to heed.
Now we actively seek each other out - in times of despair, fear or joy it doesn't matter.
Sometimes all the other needs is a smile or a friendly hug. But more often than not there's no time for anything more than that brief second when our eyes meet over the top of our masks in OR. When we're standing up to our ankles in blood and body parts and all around us chaos is the norm. Its then you want NO you need to be grounded. What do they say "if you can keep your head when all about you people are loosing theirs…" that's what we do for each other. We are the others reality.
Just when the futility of this whole damned mess makes you want to curl into a ball and sleep for a year. I'll search and find her eyes and just a wink or nod of the head keeps me there. She stops my mind from running and hiding - because just knowing I'm not alone in wanting to run and hide keeps me there - we started this together and somehow I know as long as she's here I'll be okay.
She's my friend and I am hers.
So here I am sitting here alone in post-op, trying to read my book, Inga has left and as if by fate or warped design the film tonight is Casablanca - ha ha.
Then she's here, by my side. Smiling as she offers to buy me popcorn. Her eyes look tired, when did she get to be so beautiful with tired eyes?
But it doesn't matter because I've grown tired with her this place will do that to you a day is equal to a year.
Then she gently very gently tries to coax me from my depression. She's the only one who's been able to "gee" me out of a bad day or temper since my Mom died. And why can she do it - easy because I let her - because I trust her. I know she'll always try to protect me from being hurt - and do anything she can to help me when I am.
She's hooked me, as we start to walk it seems the most natural thing in the world for me to drop my arm round her shoulders, and just as easily she wraps her arm round my waist and we both give a little squeeze. As I hear myself saying in a funny accent;
"This could be the start of a beautiful friendship."
She laughs and I laugh with her - because both of us know the friendship started years ago, and laughing is easier than crying.