Part Eleven - The morning after the night before.
The next day Hawkeye woke up with one hell of a hangover. He had a rough recollection of the previous night's events but was really foggy on the details. He gingerly tried to sit up but the run started spinning. He found it less painful to lay back down. The rest of the occupants of the swamp were having similar experiences only two of them where not so quiet about it.
"Ow My head, what happened last night?" Frank asked.
"For goodness sake shut up! Your ex hit you whilst she was aiming for Pierce." Charles replied.
That got Hawkeye's attention. He half lifted his head up. "Aiming for me , why?" to hell for it, He thought as he sat up fully. hey what did I do that was worthy of a Houlihan punch?
"As far as I remember you suggested that you should spend the night round hers. She hit Frank when she was aiming for you and then managed to get you." Trapper provided.
"I DID WHAT?!" Hawkeye yelled.
"ouch!" Was everyone's response.
"That was after you showed your butt to her and everyone else. I don't think I saw Radar go so red before." BJ added.
Thankfully before the conversation could continue down that particular juncture Radar knocked on the door. "Mail call." He said looking anxious. He delivered BJ, Hawkeye's and Charles letters. "Oh I also brought you all some strong coffee. I have a feeling you might need it after last nights events. I sneaked in some aspirins to. May I suggest you take them after you see coronal Potter. He wants to see you all in his office in half an hour. His really mad at you for what happened to Coronal Penobscott last night." With that he exited but they could here him trying to sniffle his giggles as he crossed the compound.
"Well whatever happened to Donald must have been funny." Hawkeye asked. "he could barely keep a straight face."
Seeing Radar sent something slamming in from the darkest recesses of BJ's mind. "Did anyone else read his note?" He asked the rest of the group. The collective response was "yeah". Then "oh poor kid.", "I cant believe he thought that of me!", "what are you going to do?" and "gentlemen, someone needs to talk to him" from Hawkeye, Frank Trapper and Charles respectively. Gingerly BJ tried the coffee and instantly regretted it. "Yuck, its worse than usual. I wonder what Sherman wants to see is about?" Trapper thought hard for a moment. "Um folks. I have an idea. Anyone else remember what happened after we drank the contents of the still last night?" They all thought hard. BJ and Charles response was "oh dear!"
"Oh Dear really does not even start to cover it." Announced an angry Sherman Potter 35 minutes later. "I know that you might be mad at him, justifiably so in some cases , however that does not excuse what you all did. Now Sidney is in there trying to pacify him enough to stop him bringing up court marshals against the lot of you! Penobscott may be a rat but I expected better conduct from you all, drunk or otherwise!" He finally paused for breath. Sherman had just spent the last 5 minutes chewing out Hawkeye, Charles, BJ, Trapper, Klinger, Margaret and Frank. Shouting really did not begin to cover it. It was so loud that Radar had went hiding in the supply tent under the pretence of getting more paper for his report. However Sherman felt he had no choice, what they had done was serious. So serious they may have ended up in big trouble. Big ,Big trouble. He could not emphasise the amount of trouble they where in. But what exactly had they done? That was something Frank, Hawkeye and Margaret where wondering but did not dare ask.
What they had done in there drunken state was this. After leaving the mess tent those in trouble had ended up back at the swamp. They had then drank the entire contents of the still and Charles secret stash of fine wine. In there truly intoxicated state they had read Radar's note. (in case your wondering it was a mix of what he had revealed to BJ, Hawkeye and Sidney only written more eloquently that he had spoke it.) However this had a truly unsettling effect on the group, they had decided to pay Penobscott a visit. Margaret, the most sober one of the group had sent Nurse Bigelow on a break. The group had then somehow managed to get Donald over to the flag pole after yet again putting him in a full body cast. They had then used the flag to tie him to the pole, dressed him in one of Klinger's finest dresses with BJ's cap of his dress uniform, and a fully made up face as provided by Hawkeye and Margaret. They had miraculously achieved this without Donald waking up. He was finally woken up when Radar crossing the compound to wake up Sherman had found him. Controlling his giggles somehow he informed Sherman of Donald's predicament. Sherman had spent the past hour freeing Donald from the Flag pole , dress and cast with help from Radar and two off duty nurses. The make up however was slightly more difficult much to the secret amusement of the group. Sherman had guessed whom may have been responsible and Nurse Bigelow confirmed the group that had entered post op. Radar was then given the unenviable task of waking them up. It was only when he had went to get the coffee of Igor that he finally dared to laugh. Igor whom had seen Donald on his way to the mess tent also joined in and it took the two 10 minutes to calm down, just in time for the coffee to brew. It was Igor who had procured the aspirin for the officers. Whilst that was happening Sidney had found out via Rizzo what had happened and then offered to talk to Donald with a measure of success. He was initially more successful in finding out about his daughter and her mother. The mother was unbelievably called Rosie and both of whom had died. They had been shot by a north Korean soldier whom had since gone AWOL.. He was adamant that he wanted the group punished though preferably via Court marshals. Sidney managed to get him to change his mind when he reminded Donald of his own impending court marshal and his recent antics. He then agreed to drop the charges but still wanted the group punished. Sidney himself thought that his embarrassing situation was poetic justice but kept that thought to himself. He was forced to when Donald started screaming as he remembered that his court marshal was that very afternoon. The screaming allowed the disgraced group to slip out of the office as Sherman went to sedate the screaming Coronal. Just in time for the MP'S that had arrived to collect Donald for the previously noted court marshal. As the group watched Donald leave in a straight jacket and a full make up job Radar finally reappeared and tried to sneak back in his office. However he never made it that far when the group spotted him.