Chapter 5

"Hawkeye what are you doing here?" She asked as she opened the door.

What am I doing here? He thought to himself as he tried not to confess his undying love for her and that she was the only one for him and no one else could fill the void he had in his heart the day she left him.

"Um.." he stammered, "I...uh.. well..."

"How about you come in" she said seeing that he was obviously having a hard time trying to figure out what to say to her.


He couldn't believe that she even let him in the door. Especially after how he had treated her in California. But she too knew they had a lot to talk about.

"Do you want something to drink, I don't really have much I haven't had time to go shopping, and when I do shopping with a baby isn't as fun as it sounds."

"It's okay I'm fine."

"Are you sure, how about something to eat, are you hungry?" She asked nervously.

"No, Margaret I'm fine. I didn't come all this way to eat."

She tried to read his expression, but she couldn't. She was afraid he was angry at her, not that he didn't have a reason. The kiss after the reunion had puzzled her, yet she new that he still loved her, and he had always loved her. Love was never a problem in their relationship, with Margaret it was fear that it was too good to be true.

"Why are you here then?"

"Because I love you Margaret," he heard himself say it but he couldn't believe it, "I've always loved you, I know you left me and I think I know why you did, but damn it Margaret we could have worked through it!"

Just then as if on cue the baby started crying. She looked at Hawkeye and got up to go get the baby. She returned seconds later with him in her arms. Hawkeye began to feel a little nervous. But that was normal for him he was always uncomfortable around children.

"Would you like to hold him Hawk?" She asked hoping he would.

"Um.. not right now, he looks comfortable being with you, besides I was hoping to talk to you first."

"Sure," she said a little let down.



"Why did you leave me? Well I know why you left me, did you think I wouldn't be able to deal with having a child or did you just stop loving me?"

"Oh Hawkeye, I left because I though you would be angry and end up leaving me. It was never about loving you. I just knew how you didn't want children, and when I found out that I was pregnant I was scared, I thought I'd lose you." She could feel the tears starting to form as those old feelings began to take hold.

"You never even gave me a chance! No you're right I didn't want children, but that doesn't mean that I would leave you because you were pregnant. It was half my fault remember," he said with a half smirk trying to lighten the moment.

"Ah leave it to Hawkeye Pierce to make a joke."

"Yeah well one person once told me that people hide their true feelings behind jokes, good old BJ, he was the one who said I should come here."

"Some how I'm not surprised."


"Well, I know it doesn't mean much now but I'm sorry Hawk."

"I know."

"So where are you staying tonight, I mean, do you have a place to stay tonight?"

"No I really hadn't thought that far ahead I'll probably just go to a hotel."

"I have a spare room if you want to use it." She insisted hoping her would stay.

"I'd hate to impose."

"I insist, besides hotels around here are a bit pricey."

"Alright then as long as you insist," he said a little relieved that she didn't want him to leave.

The evening went pretty well for them. They had dinner together, talked about the baby, and Hawkeye even held him, which Margaret was very happy about. It almost seemed like they were a family, but Hawkeye was still very torn up inside. When the put the baby to bed it gave them some time alone, which Hawkeye was happy about, he wanted to get to know his son, but he was still very leery of children.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Margaret asked.

"Sure which one?"

She flipped through the channels until she found one that she liked. "How about this?"


They sat in silence for a while each sneaking glances at each other, not sure what to say. Margaret couldn't believe how much older he looked after two years. He had a little more grey and he seemed to have lost some weight, but what had really changed was his eyes.

"So," Margaret said breaking the silence, "How about a drink?"


"Is scotch alright?"

"That would be great."

She got up and got the drinks and handed one to Hawkeye.


"I'm glad you came."

"I wasn't sure if you would be." He said looking deep into her eyes.


"Yeah, I wasn't too sure if I wanted to see you either. You know I almost hated you after you left, but I never stopped loving you."

"Oh Hawkeye-"

Just then he leaned in and kissed her.

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