Disclaimer: I do not own mash or any of it's characters
"WOUNDED UP FOR GRABS, GET 'EM WILE THEIR HOT"
Everyone in the 4077 as usual dropped everything and rushed to the aid of the wounded. It was 14 hours of surgery that day. When everyone was all done and cleaned up, BJ was the first in line for post-op.
"Well I'm going to get some shuteye, wake me if you need me, or if the war is over, which ever comes first" yawned Hawkeye.
"Will do. Sweet Dreams." BJ said as Hawkeye left for the swamp.
BJ through a fit when he found a patient with an empty chart. Just dog tag info and the word 'unconscious.'
"Nurse Kelley, why is there nothing written on this chart for this patient? We can all clearly see she is unconscious!" he said in an angry voice.
"There appears to be nothing else wrong with her, Just knocked out cold. Major Burns told me that she could wait until all the other patients were in post-op before she can be examined."
"Is she his patient? There isn't even a doctor name on here."
"No he would have nothing to do with her."
"Okay then I guess she is mine. Go get Major Houlihan for me."
"How may I help you Captain?" Asked Margaret.
"Help me examine this lucky patient, which Frank pushed on to someone else." BJ said with a sigh.
"Sure thing" Kelley held her up so she could take her shirt off. Kelley assisted her as directed as BJ read her name.
"Her name is Major General Marie Katherine Sprunkle. What in the hell is a female General doing here?"
"OH MY!" Kelley gasped in surprise.
"Look at all them bruises she hasn't been wounded she has been beaten half to death! Radar, Get Colonel Potter."
"Right a way sir" Radar said as he turned and rushed to get the Colonel.
"What seems to be the problem here?" Potter asked BJ who was busy looking at other patient's charts by now.
"Over here, she's a General, and looks pretty beaten. She has been out cold for 10 hours now." BJ explained.
"A General you say? So young? Oh Dear, How bad is she?"
"Well Major General to be exact. I took x-rays, she has a couple of broken ribs and some internal bleeding I'll have to do some work on her." explained BJ.
"Why wasn't this done sooner?" Potter asked confused.
"A person whom the Army likes to a doctor didn't think she was in need of attention. I'll give you three guesses but you'll only need one."
Both Potter and Radar started talking at the same time.
"Right. Radar, go tell Burns I want to see him in my office, pronto!"
"I'll get Burns and tell him you want him in your office pronto, Sir."
As Radar left the room, BJ began to share his concerns on how she got hurt.
"These aren't the normal wounds that come through here. This wasn't done with weapons, this was done with fists. Think she ended up on the wrong side?"
"I damn well hope so; I don't know what the hell this army is going to if our side did this." Just then Radar came back in.
"Sir, Burns is waiting in your office and General Anderson is waiting for you on the phone." Radar said out of breath.
"I'll take the call; Burns can sit and rot for all I care. Do what needs do be done Captain." Potter finally directed towards BJ.
"I'm on it." BJ Replied and went back to work.
Potter reached and picked up the phone.
"General Anderson, to what do I owe this pleasure?...... An inspection? Why? .......Oh I see. ......Who sir? ........Oh, well I believe she might have arrived early. .......Major General Sprunkle. .......Yes..... She is beat up very badly, and I don't mean your typical walk in Korea. We believe she has been assaulted by a group of fists.........Okay...... Thank you Sir. .......oh? ....Okay, who would you like sir?...how about BJ Hunnicutt? .....For how long?...okay....nice talking to you to. Bye." He hung up the phone. Radar was standing by to hear of the news "Well, it seems that the General has come to inspect us. Doing one on all the MASH units and we were the lucky number to be picked first. She was supposed to arrive tomorrow. He's going to send a secret service investigator. Tell Captains Pierce and Hunnicutt that I want to see them as soon as BJ gets out of surgery. Now I have a Major Mess in my office to take care of."
"Yes sir." Radar turned and left the room.
Potter walked into his office.
"Well it is about time, I have better things to do then wait in an office all day."
"Sit down and CAN IT!! What the hell where you thinking, completely ignoring a patient!"
"Sir she was fine."
"FINES ASS! That is why BJ is working on her right now isn't it!!"
"Sir I..." Frank tried to get out before the colonel cut him off.
"I don't want to hear a word of it! Now you can be officer of the day for the next three days and live with it!"
"DISMISSED!" Potter interrupted
Hawkeye and BJ were headed over to the mess tent when Radar came rushing up.
"Colonel Potter wants to see you right away Captains."
"Hawkeye, what did you do now?" BJ asked.
"I swear I just watched!" Hawkeye explained as they started to walk towards the colonel's office.
"Well next time keep it hands on."
"That's what got me in trouble last time," he said as they entered. Burns came rushing out and almost knocked them both over. "What's the matter Frank, discovered it was a dream and you really aren't a doctor?"
"OH SHOVE OFF!!" Frank yelled back as he stomped off.
"What is it Colonel?" asked BJ.
"You have orders to travel to Tokyo. You will be there for 3 days to attend medical lectures," explained Potter.
"Both of us?" asked Hawkeye.
"No, just Hunnicutt, I'm going to need my chief surgeon here, Pierce."
"Oh I'm flattered," said Hawkeye sarcastically.
"What about my patients?"
"Pierce and I will split the load, you better get packing captain you are set to leave the first thing in the morning," Potter said. As the captains turned to leave, "Hawkeye, there is something else."
"What is it colonel?"
"Do you know a Marie Katharine Sprunkle?"
"I went to college with one, why you ask?"