His first reaction was, to reach out for me, lay his hand on my forehead, while he, with the other hand, reached for my wrist, and just as he had found my pulse, I pulled my hand away, and snapped: "I'm not sick! And I'm also not totally nuts!"
Now I couldn't restrain the tears. All the tension of the last few days, his lack of comprehension and the absurdness of this awful situation melted together in a flood of tears.
"Come here," he said softly, and pulled me close in a tight embrace. I cried, sobbed and quivered in his arms.
"I think, we need professional help!" Hawkeye was very businesslike as he patted my back comfortingly. "I have a friend back in Seoul......"
I cut him short, sniffing and freed myself from his embrace: "Yes, I know! Sidney Freedman! He usually comes to the 4077 to play poker!"
Now it was his turn to look confused: "How do you know that? How have you come to know Sid?!"
"I just told you. Good old Sidney appears in the series as well", I answered truthfully. "And even you will end up at the crazy home for a while, at the end of the series....." Now we both had to laugh and I made it a point of honor to tell my story plausible.
Gently, he released me, stood up to look for something in the shelves of the supply room. He soon returned with a glass tube filled with pills. As he took one tablet out, I could read the label: Diazepam! Oh I see, a sedative!
"Here, I want you to take this" ,he handed me a little white pill and poured a sip of wine in my glass .
"As long as you don't give me Imap", I replied ironically. Blank and confused, he looked at me.
"Oh, it's a major tranquilizer in my time," I grinningly informed him. "It's needed for the turbo nuts!"
Terrific! Now I would get doped?! Calmed down like a mad person?! Obedient, I put the little white thing in my mouth - but under the tongue, in order to take it out later!
"I'll call Sidney right away and then we'll see," he said soothingly, as if he was talking to a patient. "Now go over to your tent and try to get some sleep. I'll be around later to check on both of you. I'd really like to hear Susie's version of your story!"
I ran home to our tent - very upset.
"Do you know, what your noble Winchester has been up to?!" I asked furious in the doorway to the dark tent. "He immediately ran to Potter and squealed!" I switched the lights on.
Susie looked sleepy at me, it was very late. Then I told her about last few hours.
At the mentioning of Sidney Freedman, she even had the nerves to laugh:
"Bravo! Now they're all joined together! Only Frank, Trapper and Henry are missing, otherwise we would have experienced everybody live........"
"I'm really not amused any more," I grumbled.
"Why are you so upset?! All evening a rumor was going around, that Sidney is coming tomorrow morning". Susie grinned mysteriously at me: "The rumor says, that Potter has called Sid, because of Winchesters mental state of health."
Now I had to laugh with her. Who was nuts?! Him or us?!
Susan jumped out of bed: "Come on, let's overhear Hawkeye's phone call to Sid, and let's sneak around Potter's office. Maybe we'll finally be able figure out, just what they're planning to do with us!"
And then we, once again, prowled through the dark camp, armed with a flashlight and wildly determined to learn about our fate. Carefully, we groped our way to the door to Radar's room, to see if Hawkeye had already made his telephone call. It was suspiciously quiet in there. Not a sound, no talking, no phone conversation. Hawkeye had apparently finished or maybe he didn't even get Sid on the phone. So, we ventured inside. Once again, it was soooo sweet to watch Radar sleep with his teddy bear. Pierce therefore couldn't have been here already?! Lucky for us!
We went inside Colonel Potter's office and softly closed the door behind us. As we turned around, we thought our hearts would stop beating and the adrenaline shot through our veins.
Someone was sitting at Potter's desk! By his height, we recognized, that it couldn't be the colonel himself. Hawkeye flashed through my mind. What was going on here?! But it was too late for any escape. And right at this moment, the silhouette looked up. I flashed him right in the face and almost dropped my flashlight in shock.
"Flagg!" escaped my mouth. He was absolutely the last person I expected to see!
"Swell, just what we need", Susie confirmed with her mouth wide open.
"That's Colonel Flagg, to you!" he instructed. And as if he had just realized, that I had addressed him by his name, he asked confusingly: " How do you know who am I?! That's confidential! I'm incognito here!"
"Oh, that's a long story......." I sighed. In the same moment, the light was switched on. We turned to the door. There stood a drowsy Potter and Radar with his robe open, still hugging his teddy bear.
"Oh no....Flagg! Not you again!" Potter grumbled . "If you don't have any half brained......" BJ stepped inside, and Hawkeye right behind him. Apparently, they had a problem with a patient in post-OP, because BJ wore a white coat and a stethoscope dangled around Hawkeye's neck.
Oh, I see, that's why he hadn't had time to make his phone call. BJ had seemingly called for him.
"Hey, are you throwing a party without us?" Hawkeye asked with a surprised voice." Oh no, think I'm coming down with a case of Flagg-fever!"
"Of course, Captain Pierce", the CIA-man combined razor-sharp. "I should have known that you're involved."
"What has your red-smoked brain hatched this time?" Pierce replied cheeky.
"We've got information, that you're hiding two spies." Flagg turned to Susie and me. Susan's mouth was hanging open. And I'd lost all laughs as well. Now it had become critical! Our comedy seemed to change into a drama!
"He definitely has ceramics-syndrome, a crack in his bowl! IF these girls are commies then I'll desert voluntary," Pierce grumbled and twinkled encouraging at us. Like our guardian angels, Pierce and Hunnicutt stepped behind us. Hawkeye hissed into my ear: "Hey, you should be asleep by now! What are you doing here?!"
"Easy, Pierce," Potter warned. In this moment, the door flung open again and Margaret turned up, looking as if she had just seen a ghost , accompanied by Father Mulcahy who was wearing only his pajamas.
"What's all this commotion at this late hour," she nagged.
With just one look Potter commanded silence. With a severe expression he addressed us: "So dear ladies, the time has come to give your memory a leg up. We did some investigation on your part and found out that you are absolutely unknown at the Evac hospital nor are there any army documents on you! So you do not exist in any way!"
In the middle of this dramatic scene, Klinger stumbled into the office, holding up his rifle, still wearing his high heels: " Oh, I thought I had to help someone, to defend our country....."
By now, Winchester had been allured by all the noise and came in the office, dressed in pajamas - which was about two sizes too small!
By one movement with his hand, Potter silenced everyone: "Please, be quite! And may I ask our both Lieutenants to start telling the truth for once!"
Susie took a deep breath and was about to start with an angry reply, as a whirring and glittering light filled the air and a strangely dressed man emerged from out of nowhere. He was almost bald and his face resembled turtles:
"Please state the nature of the medical emergency!"
Everyone looked dumbfounded at him, Susan and myself most of all!
This strange shape in his black and blue playsuit and these funny expression pointed at Potter and his officers: "Oh no, not YOU again! Do you have to mix up my TV-experiment every time........Computer, end this program!"
Author's note again:
For everyone, who doesn't understand the ending of my story 'cause not everyone is a Star Trek fan: We didn't actually get "beamed" into the MASH-series but rather stranded in the Star Trek Universe. The strange man with the turtle looking face who emerges at the end is the Holodoc from the Starship "Voyager". If it all takes place at the Holodeck or merely in the fantasy of the author/readers is up to everyone to decide for them selves!
I do not own any of these characters they all belong the producers and creators of M*A*S*H and STAR TREK and all other mentioned series/movies. It's just a fanfic because I like writing and I had this idea for such a long time and I would be very happy for any feedback. Please send it to: firstname.lastname@example.org