Pretend there were one or two days missing out of GF&A...

"Hello. I'm Clete Roberts and we're here again at the MASH 4077th in Korea. You may recall our previous coverage of this unit, we've followed it throughout a majority of the war. On July 27, an armistice was agreed upon--finally putting an end to the fighting. How do these doctors and nurses feel? We checked in on them three days after the armistice was called...

Cut to Swamp.

CLETE: When we last left you, you described some passionate feelings about the war. How do you feel now that it's over?
HAWKEYE: How do I feel? Jubilant, joyous, relieved, relaxed, ecstatic, elated, satisfied, tired, terrific... I can't say. (laughs) I've waited for this day for what seems like an eternity and it's here. I've been released. This hell is finally over.

Cut to Officer's Club.

BJ: Oh, I can't wait to see my wife and kid! It's like being reborn! I can go home, play with my dog, take my kid out for walks. I can do everything I missed out on in this prison. I'm free!

Cut to Potter's office.

POTTER: It's great, just fantastic. Feels like a big load off my shoulders. I'm retirement age, if you couldn't tell, so it's time to settle down with the wife. No more of this nonsense.

Cut to Mulcahy's tent.

CLETE: How would you say the war has affected you?
MULCAHY: Excuse me? I'm sorry... I can't hear you very well. I can't hear much of anything anymore. It's unfortunate, really, I received a blow to the head. What was the question?

Cut to post-op.

WINCHESTER: Ah, yes, I would say it has. It has tainted classical music, one of my passions, with its ugliness. I fear it will be most difficult to listen to any of my music without being reminded of this God forsaken place.

Cut to Swamp.

HAWKEYE: (seriously) Are you kidding? Who couldn't be affected? I'm surprised I don't have a few screws loose. In fact, I think I do. I know no matter how hard I'll try, I'll never forget this place. They've got it tattooed to my brain.

Cut to Officer's Club.

BJ: It's stolen two years of my life. (desperately) I missed the first two years of my baby's life.

Cut to mess tent.

CLETE: Can you see any good coming out of this war for you?
KLINGER: Sure, the people here are great. I mean, really terrific. It's the worst place in the world with the best people in it.

Cut to Mulcahy's tent.

MULCAHY: I'll never forget some of the characters I met here.

Cut to Swamp.

HAWKEYE: Oh, how I'll miss those nurses.

Cut to Officer's Club.

BJ: I like to think we can all see each other again, under better circumstances.

Cut to post-op.

WINCHESTER: Some of the people here are quite remarkable. Despite the despicability of their manners, they have proven to work diligently under strife. Ours has been a noble effort.

Cut to Swamp.

CLETE: This unit has saved many soldiers' lives, it has an outstanding survival rate. How do you feel? Having affected so many of the people that come through here.
HAWKEYE: Good. But, the ones you lose stick around for a lot longer than the ones you save. Sometimes I get these 'thank you' cards from families back in the States. You know, of kids I've saved. Those are great, I really appreciate it.

Cut to Officer's Club.

BJ: It feels a bit funny. To think that these guys just passed through here for maybe a day or a week, and they remember us. I mean, I guess we're the last ones they usually see before they get sent home--I mean, if they're lucky... or unlucky, I guess it depends on how you look at it. The envy for those guys, though, it could get unbearable sometimes. All over now.

Cut to Potter's office.

POTTER: A lot of the boys that come through here show up in real bad shape. It's nice to know you helped a lot of kids. You're not really thinking that in surgery, but after, it's great. Some of the surgeons got a few gifts of thanks, those are really great. Keeps them from going insane-- the surgeons, I mean. (chuckles)

Cut to Mulcahy's tent.

CLETE: Where do you go from here?
MULCAHY: Excuse me? Oh, yes. Well, immediately, I'll be heading to the orphanage. I've been looking after the children there for the better part of the war. Then afterwards, I suppose I'll go home, to Philadelphia. It'll be wonderful to prepare sermons and hear confession. However, I'm not sure how I'll be able to hear confession... I suppose I'll think of a way. Perhaps they could write their confession on a slip of paper. (laughs slightly)

Cut to Swamp.

HAWKEYE: Hey, like I said last time, Crabapple Cove, Maine. To sleep. (pauses) As long as possible.

Cut to post-op.

WINCHESTER: I will return to Boston, where I will assume the position of head of thoracic surgery at Boston Mercy. Despite this digression, my life will resume as I had left it.

Cut to mess tent.

KLINGER: I feel crazy saying this, but I'll be staying in Korea. I've fallen in love and married this great gal--
CLETE: Congratulations.
KLINGER: Thanks. We're gonna stick around here and look for her parents. Then, we'll head back to Toledo, I guess. Sorry, ma! (waves to the camera apologetically)

Cut to Potter's office.

CLETE: Anything you'd like to say in closing?
POTTER: Hopefully, this will be the last of this type of excursion. But I don't think it will.

Cut to Officer's Club.

BJ: I think we've all left physically or mentally scarred. I'm glad it's over.

Cut to Swamp.

HAWKEYE: Yeah, I'd like to say that whatever they were fighting for wasn't worth it.

Fade to black.