Rating: PG

A Lifetime of Regrets

by Major_Baby

Margaret walked into her room, quickly shutting the door behind her. The party was getting very loud and after all these years of entertaining the noise still got irritating. She smiled and sighed. Still, she enjoyed herself tonight. Sitting down at her desk she pulled her journal from the bottom drawer. She felt like writing, like sorting things out.

How I ever fell for Donald, I still cannot comprehend. God, how could I have been so shallow? I never loved him. I was certainly infatuated with him, but I never loved him. I met him at a party and I was pathetically drunk. He proposed, I accepted and then three months later I wound up as his wife. How could I have been so stupid? It's humiliating when I think of all the stupid decisions I've made. I can barley remember the night I met him.

I was sitting at a table flirting shamelessly with some Colonel. I glanced up and noticed Donald. Thinking back I can see why I was so infatuated with him. He was tall, dark and handsome with a promising military career. He saw me looking at him and he winked, I acknowledged him with a smile. Ten minutes later a glass of pink champagne was sent to me, compliments of the handsome stranger. I accepted the glass and approached him, leaving Colonel What's-His-Name at the table staring after me. I can't remember much of what happened after that. I didn't even find out his name until the following morning.

I woke up in a strange room. My head was pounding and the light from the window was searing into my eyes. I tried to sit up and shake the cobwebs from my head.

"You awake darlin'?" I heard a man's voice coming from the bathroom. Uh oh. What had I done? I'll admit that I wasn't exactly concerned about my reputation, but rather the fact that I was in a room with a man and I had no idea how I got there. As he walked into the room I knew why I was there. He had his shirt off and I couldn't take my eyes of his chest. I didn't care about who he was or how I got there. I just wanted him. I pulled myself onto my knees and smiled. He sat down and began to kiss my neck pushing me backwards onto the bed. Suddenly he pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe we've been properly introduced." He smiled and I melted into the pillow behind me. "And your name is..." He prompted. I blushed slightly realizing that we had slept with together not even knowing each other's names. I pushed the thought out of my mind and smiled.

"Margaret...Margaret Houlihan."

"Well now that we know each other..." He trailed off and began kissing my neck again. I scooted to the side and smiled coyly.

"No so fast sir. We are not yet adequately introduced." He laughed and replied that his name was Lt. Co. Donald Penobscott. I let him continue kissing me as my mind reeled. A Lt. Co.! I couldn't believe my luck!

I'll spare you the details. We were engaged that afternoon. We went to another party that night and I again became ridiculously drunk and made a fool of myself by calling Colonel Potter at the 4077th. When I announced that I was engaged it felt wonderful. I loved the idea of being engaged more that I loved my fiancée'. Most of all it was exhilarating being able to tell off Frank. I had stuck with the little weasel for a long time and I was sick of him. The man had absolutely no backbone! I originally started our little romance because I felt that he needed me. And more than anything I wanted to feel needed. Plus he was an ally for my war against practically everyone else in the camp.

I hate thinking of how shallow I was then. I was spiteful and cruel, and I constantly made a fool of myself, first with Frank and then with Donald. I can't see how I could have been so blind to Donald's faults. At least I can truthfully say I have improved considerably.

"Margaret?" Peg stuck her head in the door. "Margaret, are you okay?" Margaret put her pen down and looked up at her friend.

"Yeah, sure Peg." She smiled sheepishly. "It was just getting a little loud; I'll be back down in a little." Peg laughed.

"Yeah I know how you feel; it was like this on my tenth anniversary. I'll leave you alone now." With a final smile Peg quietly shut the door.

To Be Continued...