Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of M*A*S*H they all belong to Fox, although I wish I owned them! Also, the people I create are my property, and I don't mind people using them, just ask me first please!
NOTE: I haven't seen all the episodes of M*A*S*H, as in Australia, reruns are patchy, so if I've got anyone's details incorrect please tell me firstname.lastname@example.org Any other comments would be greatly appreciated!
This story tells from Margaret's POV what happened if Margaret and Hawkeye fell in love before the end of the war, it centres mostly on Goodbye, Farewell & Amen but has a brief lead up, which I pretty much made up from my little knowledge of M*A*S*H. I mentioned some of the things mentioned in the movie that are not actually shown. I also had no idea of the time frame that the movie is set across, so I just made it up. I actually found this very hard to write from Margaret's POV, being not half as strong-willed and never having done any of those things I wrote about. I hope you enjoy the story.
I have to admit I admired Hawkeye from the moment I saw him. Even though he was rude, insensitive, selfish, a sex-obsessed womaniser, an alcoholic and had a poor sense of personal hygiene, he also had a cute trademark smile, a fabulous fun-loving nature, a reasonable body and nice eyes. His hands were fabulous too; they were slim and well defined and actually looked incredibly sexy in rubber gloves. His sense of humour too, was wonderful, provided it wasn't directed at me; and many's the time when I wanted to laugh hysterically when I had to pretend I was furious. Also the way his eyes sparkled as that familiar blush rose to my cheeks or while Frank spluttered angrily was so irresistibly handsome I couldn't stay angry for long. When Hawkeye was Hawkeye he was wonderful, but if you flicked that switch and he became Dr Pierce, he was impressive. I'd seen his sexy hands, combine with his quick brain to work miracles and save young lives in a way that no one else in the camp could. He was also brave; he'd faced so much, being shelled, the unexploded shell, neurotic patients who tried to break his neck and Chinese at Rainbow Bridge. He'd done all that to save other people's lives, and consequently he'd had knives, guns, syringes and scalpels waved in his face. Each time he'd been so cool, calm and collected when Frank had been panicking or even fainting. Okay, he had panic in his eyes, but every word that came out of his mouth was a cool, direct order and it saved his life. Hawkeye didn't appear to care about anyone except for himself, yet when I divorced Donald, and my tears were at their peak, he'd been so unusually caring and loving and he was lucky in that he was able to see a side of me, one beneath my military facade one no one else had ever seen.
Other times when I noticed how funny, loyal, handsome, brave, nonjudgmental or masculine Hawk was are innumerable, but among them, two times stand out. Hawkeye decking Frank granted it was thoroughly unnecessary and I had complained, but Hawkeye had made a particularly cutting remark. Hawkeye had been so nonchalant when Frank pathetically flicked him with the towel. He accepted the towel from Trapper, dried his hands and swung. It took me completely by surprise, it was a good hard punch and Frank instantly hit the floor and Hawkeye continued as though nothing happened. Frank didn't even have the nerve to hit him back; all he tried for was a court martial. The other time was with the flu epidemic, while Hawkeye was fighting his own illness to look after other people. I particularly remember having to give him the needle - in his rear. It was embarrassing, but it was a really nice butt. I almost regret having to stab it with the needle.
I used to envy the nurses who were lucky enough to get a date with Hawkeye. There was a day, organised by Trapper, where Hawkeye had, a dawn, breakfast, brunch, early lunch, late lunch, afternoon, dinner and midnight dates. He was always after one of my staff, making inappropriate gestures or comments. Trapper was just as bad, but I envied Hawkeye's nurses. I guess if I had not pretended to hate him so violently I might have had a chance. I mean he asked me on more than one occasion and he also tried to kiss me, but I refused him every time. But what really gave us our rocky start was my affair with Frank Burns.
I've been asked so many times why I had an affair with Frank. One dignity, two I just needed a man, three the poor sap needed someone strong as a backbone. My dignity was constantly at risk and if I was seen with the well-off Major, would be good for my reputation, but if I was seen with the poorly behaved Captain, a man of lower rank, the humiliation would be endless. I couldn't have Hawkeye, or Trapper, or even Colonel Blake, and consequently I needed male attention and Frank, though married was the next best suitor. I regret my affair with him now, but Frank was hard to say no to - and he was the constant butt of so many practical jokes, he needed someone as a safety net, to baby him, support him, and then throw him straight back into battle.
Through everything Hawkeye kept up his attentions towards me, even through my marriage to Donald. He didn't expect me to do anything while I was married though, a sign of his loyalty and morals. While I was Mrs. Penobscott, his attentions did lessen, but his eyes were always on me. When I divorced Donald, Hawkeye was so understanding and always so comforting. I remember when we were looking for the M*A*S*H unit which had to bug out and we were stuck in that abandoned house, being shelled, he was a scared as I was, but somehow knowing I wasn't the only one freaking out was reassuring. When he kissed me that night it was amazing, and from then on, it started our affair.
Our affair, initially wild and passionate soon became tender and loving. We'd meet in my tent at night and kiss and touch passionately. It was then I learned why all the nurses were so crazy about him. His hands it seemed, worked magic in more than one way. He knew just how and where to touch me; he teased me with his touch until I begged for mercy. But then as we grew closer we'd just meet to be together, and we'd spend evenings simply lying in each other's arms. We kept our affair secret at risk of a repeat of the pranks played on Major Burns and I, however Colonel Potter knew, he'd seen us kiss behind the kitchens but he had given us his word, that he would keep our secret. We never had sex, we just didn't think it would be right, not in the middle of a war, and neither of us were ready to become parents. What we didn't realise though was how much we loved each other but it became painfully clear how much we needed each other towards the end of the war.
It all started the night of the day off, we had a wonderful day on the beach, singing, dancing, drinking and playing volleyball. Hawkeye whisked me off behind some rocks while everyone else was absorbed in a BJ vs. Supply Sargent Matthews wrestling match and we had a little - fully clothed - fun. The bus trip back was okay, every one was a little tipsy and most of us were singing drunkenly while we threw the volleyball around. Actually, it started out okay, but ended in disaster. She smothered her baby, granted she probably saved all our lives, but it was still so horrible. Hawkeye was pretty upset, he felt like he'd ordered her to kill her own baby, but how upset we wouldn't realise till later on. Later that night we crept into my tent, we'd treated and bedded down the wounded we'd picked up that day and both a little drunk and shocked by everything that happened, we turned to a bottle… and each other. I woke the next morning, after a night of impassioned lovemaking and drinking. I was naked, alone and there were empty bottles by my bed. I had a god-awful hangover and I struggled to dress. "Margaret?" Hawkeye's voice was at the door I let him in and as we embraced, I realised that he looked as bad as I felt. "I'm so sorry, I should never have taken advantage of you like that it was so wrong." I reeled back, if it had been any other nurse, he would probably have been proud. "It's okay," I assured him, things were a little blurry but I was pretty sure that I'd made the first move, if you can call throwing myself on him and kissing him messily a move. I turned to fix my bunk when he made a peculiar choking noise. "Oh god, she smothered her chicken!" He cried, and I tried to soothe him while he sobbed noisily and endlessly. "It's so awful, god, god, it's hideous!" He wept for about 10 minutes after which he composed himself and assured me he was okay. But as the weeks went on he came to prove he was anything but.
I sat in the Officer's Club, with a cup of coffee nicked from the Mess Tent, Hawkeye had promised to meet me there when he finished his shift. There was a crash and the walls seemed to move. As I ran with everyone else to safety, the dust cleared and in the hole that used to be a wall was a jeep. Hawkeye was in the jeep in his hideous shirt and a doctor's coat. "I'll have a double bourbon and one of whatever this lovely lady is drinking…" he said cheerfully. Two MP's ran up and hauled him off. He put up a hell of a fight and you could hear him as they dragged him Colonel Potter's office, screaming for his bourbon. Potter straightened him out okay, and told him off pretty thoroughly. He was fine after that, he drank a bit more and swore a lot, but he didn't do anything as crazy. But now the fighting was hotting up, and we'd been the OR for almost five straight days. I guess someone had to crack, and it was Hawkeye. He was screaming at Nurse Kellye and fighting her off. BJ and Klinger restrained him. "Don't you see, she'll kill him?" All she was trying to do was administer an anaesthetic via a mask. "Someone, stop her, don't let her smother him!" He was putting up a tremendous fight, kicking and screaming, and it was all BJ, Klinger and two corpsmen who he'd nearly punched to even hold him still. Everyone was trying to keep operating as normal but with the commotion he was creating, it was becoming hard. "Major, see if you can get him out of here." Colonel Potter looked up at me, there were three people on each arm and they still couldn't drag him out. "Cover me Baker, Colonel, can I get some tranquilisers into him please?" I went to the other end of the OR, where BJ, Klinger, Father Mulcahy, Nurse Abraham and the corpsmen were trying to drag him out. He pulled free and dashed towards Kellye, knocking over a tray of instruments in the process. "Margaret! Stop her!" He yelled, desperate I drew back my fist and punched him. He hit the floor and about 10 people jumped on him. Colonel Potter handed me a needle and I threw myself on him as well and jabbed him in the rear. He quieted down and BJ was able to literally drag him out of the room. In the Swamp, he was given some more tranquilisers and he didn't wake up. As Colonel Potter x-rayed and set my broken hand, Sid Freedman came and carted him off to hospital and that, when the tranquilisers wore off is where Hawkeye woke up.
I dropped my fork, ran to the latrine, and upon finding it occupied vomited behind the latrine. As I emptied my stomach, I realised that Colonel Potter had followed me and was holding my hair back as I threw up last night's dinner and today's breakfast, which come to think about it, were actually very similar. He looked at me thoughtfully as I stood up shakily. "I'll get some sawdust or sand on that for you." I smiled, "Thanks," But he wasn't finished, "And I want to see you in my office pronto!" I nodded and went and rinsed my face and mouth, and then I reported to Colonel Potter. I entered his office, Klinger not even getting up as I came through. The Colonel got straight to the point. "When are you due?" I looked confused, "What?" He asked me again, "When are you due, how far along are you?" I put my hand, the left one as the right was still in plaster, to my mouth, pregnancy had never crossed my mind as an answer to my sudden illness. "I've seen that subconscious peaceful look in so many women… and mares. To say nothing of the fact that you've vomited every morning for nearly a week and I never thought the food was that bad." I looked surprised, "So… Major, you may feel this is delicate, but is it possible?" I began to cry a little, "Oh, dear it's been nearly six weeks since Hawkeye and I…" My voice trailed off, "Well, I want to test you and find out and if you are dear, you're going home." I began to cry harder, and the Colonel wrapped his arms around me. I took a deep breath, "Okay, let's get it over with."
"What in the Sam Hill has possessed you?" Colonel Potter demanded, "You have to go home. Jumping jodhpurs, why are you so damned stubborn?" It was two days since Colonel Potter had suspected I was pregnant - he was right but I wanted to stay, "Colonel Potter, please, let me wait out the peace talks, if they succeed I can go home with everyone else, but if they don't I'll just go home without a protest." His face turned an unpleasant shade of red, "Horse hockey! You'll just try to find another way of staying on! No!" He slammed his fist onto the desk, so I tried another angle. "I'm unmarried, what will my family say of I come home pregnant and unwed?" The colour in his face lightened two shades and I continued, "Please, let me stay to see if Hawkeye will come home, here home I mean, so we can get married." His face softened, "Well, let's just see if we can't get you hitched. He will want to won't he?" I nodded, "He will want to, and if the whole bus incident has changed him, I'm sure that his father's morals are so firmly embedded in his head, he'll have to." The Colonel nodded, "How true, he's always been a good man." I smiled, "We can ring him in the morning, Sidney said it would probably do Hawk some good to hear from us." Colonel Potter nodded, "Now, go to bed Major, you're a mother-to-be, you need your rest, and besides, it's nearly 11 and don't you have a shift at 2?" I nodded, and left. In the morning I got some people together and we rang Hawkeye.
Hawkeye came home - after living in a place for three years you had to call it home - about a week after we rang him. I hadn't told him that I was with child. I didn't want to right away, but the way he kissed me the instant we were alone, I knew he still loved me. He was at calm, so much at peace, somewhat irate about not being sent Stateside, but completely okay. He'd been back for three or four weeks, and Colonel Potter had given me two days to spill the beans to Hawkeye. I told Hawkeye over breakfast that I had something important to tell him, and Hawkeye met me in my tent. "Hawkeye, I'm pregnant." I told him bluntly. "Colonel Potter confirmed me, I'm about six weeks along now." Before he could respond there was an announcement, the war was over! Not only was there peace in Korea, it didn't matter if I was pregnant or not, I could just go home with everyone else. We joined everyone else dancing in the compound. Father Mulcahy, poor soul could barely hear a word, I don't know why, but he actually had to ask what was going on. Anyway, the festivities continued until a fresh load of casualties came through, this time civilians. We watched Hawkeye anxiously, but thank god, he was fine, and he operated on small children. And right in the middle of all that, at 10pm that night the guns finally stopped.
I've been rambling so much about Hawkeye, I forgot, that there had been a tank parked in the compound, more mortars, and Hawkeye drove it off. Winchester found a bunch of Chinese musicians who he tried to teach Mozart and then they got shelled on their way home. Klinger had spent the last month driving all over the countryside to help a pretty Korean girl, Soon-lee find her family. BJ got his orders, but in Seoul, he was told they were revoked and consequently he was moping because he was going to miss his daughter's birthday. We had a party for her, with the orphans from Sister Theresa's. It was just after Hawkeye got back, and he pretty much stayed away from that no one could blame him. After the cake was cut and Sidney'd had a good long talk to Hawkeye, he and I spent an hour making love in my tent; we needed to be together again. Afterwards as we lay together on the floor, actually on two mattresses he stole from supply; Hawkeye seemed to remember what I had told him. "Is it true?" He asked, holding both my hands. I nodded silently, a tear threatening to fall. "Oh god… so tiny… so fragile… so easily smothered… so… so… loved." He mumbled, "Hawkeye," I said, "I'm sorry, but it's true." Hawkeye kissed my neck, his hand roving idly over my naked back. Hawkeye reflected quietly, his hand still wandering up over my shoulders and down my front to my stomach. "I don't know what to think." He said softly, his left hand was caressing my stomach, his right, my back and he was pulling me closer and rolling me over again. "I don't think I know what I want you to think." I whispered, he shook his head, "I don't want you to tell me what to think," he said. He kissed me again, and I could tell where he was going. His slow kisses that were punctuating most of the sentences were becoming more and more heated. "I still don't know what to think myself." I said as he gently positioned himself on top of me, "Mmm, Margaret, I think I can help you think what to think." I chuckled and kissed him, "I like what you're telling me to think." I wrapped my arms around his neck, and we made love again. He stretched and stood up. "Well, there's that goodbye dinner party in two hours, and I need to get dressed." I lay there, reflecting on what had happened, and watched the man I loved get dressed. I stood up and pulled on my robe. While Hawkeye fixed up our bed on the floor, I sat in front of my mirror and methodically brushed my hair. "Gosh, I'm tired," I yawned, Hawkeye laughed, "Bit much for you was I?" I smiled at him, when he dropped to his knees, "Marry me Margaret, before we go home, tomorrow morning." He kissed my hand. "Oh, I know what to think now, yes, of course I will!" A light came over his face, one I hadn't seen in a while. "Come with me, come." He dragged me out of my tent and into the Swamp. I tried to pull my robe tighter around me, as he rummaged in his footlocker for something while BJ looked on curiously. "Not a single word please BJ." I said BJ pretended to turn a key in his lips as Hawkeye held a red velvet box up in the air "Found it, it was my mother's." In the box were two rings, a diamond one and a plain gold wedding band. I had seen the rings before; they were his mothers and his father had given them to him when he first left for Korea, just in case he met a special woman. I felt incredibly lucky to be that woman. He took up the ring and slid it onto my finger. We kissed passionately while BJ looked plain surprised, "Your secret is safe with me." I pulled away from Hawkeye; "I need to have a shower before dinner, so Hawkeye… Ben… darling, I'd best be going." He kissed me, "Okay beloved, and you can call me whatever you like." I laughed and left the tent.
Later that night, everyone was standing up and saying what they'd do when they left Korea. It was Hawkeye's turn and there were a few surprised murmurs as I stood up with him. "Well, we're going to go home separate ways, but we'll meet up in the States." He said while everyone except Father Mulcahy, BJ and Colonel Potter looked surprised. I continued, "We're going to get married here, tomorrow, with Max and Soon-lee it'll be a double wedding, and then we'll have a huge proper one in Maine, and you'll all be invited!" There was a round of applause and Hawkeye beamed at the surprised faces and whispers. "Oh, and one more thing, I'm going to be a dad! My beloved Margaret is having my baby." BJ choked and sprayed half the camp with wine. We celebrated till late in the night, enjoying each other's company for the last time. Hawkeye and I returned to my tent. We had planned to make our last night together as unmarried lovers as memorable as possible. We also knew it would be the last night in a long time that we'd be together.
I walked down the aisle on Colonel Potter's arm. I was wearing the dress I had been married to Donald in but I had changed it as much as possible. Colonel Potter was giving me away and not 10 minutes before had given away Soon-lee. BJ was our best man and like Hawkeye was grinning from ear-to-ear. Hawkeye the darling, with his sad sense of humour was wearing a suit… and white rubber gloves. Father Mulcahy began the service and before I knew it he was saying, "Do you Captain Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce take Major Margaret Jane Hot Lips Houlihan to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love honour and cherish in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer…" "In war and peace!" called someone, "Through war and peace as long as you both shall live?" Hawkeye looked at me, his eyes I couldn't believe were filled with tears, "I do," He whispered. "And do you, Major Margaret Jane Hot Lips Houlihan take Captain Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce to be your lawfully wedded husband to love honour and cherish in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, through war and peace as long as you both shall live?" Now I knew why Hawkeye was crying, it was so emotional, and my eyes filled with tears "I do," He gave me his mother's ring and I gave him a wedding band that I had bought in Tokyo at the beginning of the war, I didn't know at the time why I'd bought it and I never even showed it to Donald but Hawkeye had to have the ring. We kissed for the first time as a married couple and after a while we had to go. Winchester gave me a particularly touching gift, a copy of a book that I had borrowed from him and loved, I still have it. Hawkeye and I shared a long kiss goodbye and everything after that is pretty much a blur until I next saw Hawkeye back in the States.
I was in Portland airport and I was waiting for my bags when someone threw himself on me. "Oh Margaret, my Margaret!" Hawkeye lifted me off the ground in his embrace, crushing the crimson roses. He was wearing blue jeans, jeans something we had all longed for in Korea, and his hideous Hawaiian shirt. His eyes had that irresistible sparkle back in them as he swung me around. "Oh Margaret, my darling! You are as beautiful as you ever were, or did you get more beautiful while we were apart?" I picked up my suitcase, which Hawkeye took from me, "Hawkeye, my love it's only been two weeks." "Two long weeks, especially when you consider that we spent nearly three years of our lives within the same twenty feet or so. And after all, you're carrying my child." He kissed me again. "And you're carrying my grandchild." A tall greying man stood there, he looked exactly like Hawkeye, except he had a few more grey hairs and wrinkles. "Dad this is Margaret my wife, Margaret, this is my Dad, Daniel." Daniel hugged me immediately, this surprised me a little, but I reasoned I had always known that Daniel and his son shared the same warm, open nature. "Pleased to meet you, Hawkeye told me so much about you." Daniel smiled, "Likewise, Hawkeye told me so much about you too. In fact, you were the first person he told me about in his first letter home." I smiled at that. Hawkeye had my hand in his left hand and my suitcase in his right, "Let's go, you've got a whole town to meet and a wedding to plan!"
Crabapple Cove was about ˝ an hour out of Portland, not really 'just right of nowhere' like Hawkeye said. The house Hawkeye grew up in was large, verandas on 3 sides and a big garden. It looked over the sea and it was beautiful, perfect as Hawkeye devilishly pointed out, for starting a family. The marriage was scheduled for three weeks after my arrival. Everyone in Crabapple Cove came, my dad fuming at my choice of husband and my pregnancy had come to walk me down the aisle and Colonel Potter, Radar and Trapper had even come from interstate to see our second wedding. The big day was held on Daniel's property was more beautiful than anything I could have thought I could imagine. We went to California for our honeymoon and toured the West Coast. We squeezed in a visit to BJ and a couple of other M*A*S*H friends before returning home. I was 5 months pregnant then and Hawkeye was treating me like a queen. He had started working in his dad's clinic, getting Crabapple Cove to say 'ah'. Daniel was my personal doctor and by sheer luck he was there when I went into labour.
My labour was really long, nearly 18 hours. Hawkeye was beside himself with worry. He and Daniel were delivering the baby in Daniel's clinic and I pushed, puffed, screamed, swore and cried my way through labour. Hawkeye was trying to be reassuring but failing dismally as he was panicking more than a little. I'll never forget when I could finally hold my little son in my arms. I was so proud. So was Hawkeye, he'd begun to sing and dance, swearing and praying at the same time, while I lay there exhausted but proud. It was half past 4 in the morning when I finally gave birth so we cleaned up and went home. We were too tired to discuss the baby's name and we decided we'd sleep on it.
"I like Henry," said Daniel, my eyes filled with tears at the thought of Colonel Blake. "Henry's good." I agreed. Hawkeye was silent, "We can't call him Henry, Trapper and Radar already have Henrys. What about Daniel?" I said Hawkeye looked up, "Oh that's good, that sounds really good." I smiled, looking at my sleeping son. "It's perfect." I murmured gazing down at the little boy cradled in his proud father's arms. He looked like both Daniel and Hawkeye had at birth. "Well," Hawkeye looked at me and kissed me. "Welcome to the world Daniel Henry Pierce."