~ I could go home, but I really don't think I should. What would I do when I got there? Talk to dad? No.
After what seemed like an eternity, Dad and Mickey showed up. Mikey had some wild flowers clutched in his little fist.
"Dad, she is pissed about me not telling her."
"You have a son who hasn't seen you in 3 days. I know you love her, but go on home and get some sleep." Mickey reached for me. He looked like he'd been crying.
"I want you to read to me." I felt horrible.
"Did you bring a book." He shook his head no. "Do you want to visit Margaret and bring her those?" He grinned.
~ Whats HE doing back? Doesn't he get I'm mad at him? Mickey was with him.
"My dad brought him. He has to get to work. I'm going off duty, so he'll be taking care of you. Mickey wanted to bring you some flowers."
"I got these for you Margie." He said so innocently. He was a beautiful child.
"Thank you Mickey. They are beautiful."
"Margaret, I didn't tell you because I didn't know how. I was about to tell you at the cafe when they came up. I'm sorry."
"Why didn't you tell me the first day?"
"Would you have stayed with me?"
"You were married!"
"I'm not anymore. Mickey is mine now.....his mother can never come with in 10 miles of him. Please just here me out. I am in love with you. I did date another woman...we did have a child and got married....in that order.....but the only mistake I made was not telling you. I love my son. Don't make me choose between you two."
"I'm not making you choose between us. He is a great kid....YOU are the one I was angry at."
"Margaret, its late and he needs to get home and get some sleep. Good night."
"Night Mickey. Good night Hawkeye."
I tried to go to sleep. I really did. I couldn't though. Have you ever tried to sleep in a hospital? It's impossible with all the doctors and nurses checking on you. I never realized what it was like until now. Ick. I hope I NEVER get this sick again. Every fifteen minutes someone comes in to pester you. Oh, I cannot wait until morning. Hawkeye will come by then. That ought to help me feel better...
A nurse walks in. "How are you feeling?"
"As good as being in the hospital gets?"
"Well you won't be here that much longer."
"How much longer?"
"Well we should do another spinal tap on you in a couple of days if everything turns out fine you can go home."
Great doesn't even begin to describe how that made me feel. I can't wait to tell Hawkeye. I just want to sleep right now, though.
Huh? Where am I? Oh. In the hospital. Oh! Hawkeye is here! Great. Just what I need to make a crummy day even worse.
"Good morning, Margaret." He held out some flowers.
"Thank you," I answered stiffly. I felt like a petulant child, but too bad. I was entitled to some well-deserved sulking.
"Yeah, any time. Look, do you plan to stay mad forever, or are you just seeing how much you can make me do? Because I am almost out of patience. You're being discharged tonight, and I want to talk to you--alone-- when you get home. Your primary physician said you were fine, all systems were go as of yesterday. Today's tap came back fine, so you're cleared for discharge. The discharge planner will be up here within the hour. I am going to your house to make dinner so it'll be ready when you get home, capish?" He gave me a smug look that set my teeth on edge.
"Just one thing, Casanova." I gave him a deceptively sweet look.
"What?" He turned as he reached the door.
"If you break into my house, I'll have you arrested." Hawkeye threw me a hateful look. I knew I went too far. He stood up and turned to leave. As he was walking I called him back.
"I'm sorry, I can't do that." He left. He was crying. Hawkeye Pierce was crying-over me. Jesus....I feel horrible.
~ How could she act like that? Doesn't she know that I have feelings? That I love her? Well, I should say that I did, until now. What am I saying? I'll always care for her even if she acts like that. This is like Korea. We're doing things to each other just to do it and see how far we can push the other before they go over the edge. I'm rambling. How long are we going to keep this up? It's a never-ending game, and frankly, I'm sick of it. I want my Maggie...
~ Why did I say that? I can't keep this up. I'll lose him if I'm not careful. I cannot believe I got him that upset. If I lose him, life will not be worth living. He made Korea bearable and I want him to help make life here better than I ever thought it would be. How will I go on living with out him. Hawkeye Peirce is the only thing worth living for. He's why I'm here. I hope he comes back so I can tell him that I didn't mean what I said. If he doesn't I don't know what I'll do. Yes, I do know. Cry. Just cry.
Hawkeye stood against the door frame and cried. Margaret lay in her bed and cried.
~Why do we do this to each other? I mean I love her so much and she can just be so......meanhearted.
~I want him to walk in and yell at me. At least then he'll know I'm sorry.
~ I can hear her crying. All I want to do is go in there and tell her everything will be okay. I don't know if I can.
~ I wished he'd come in here and hold me and say that he forgives me. I doubt he will after what I said though.
~ Ok. I know what I've gotta do. First off, make it look like I wasn't crying. Ok, now that's done I'll just do what I have to do.
I took a deep breath and walked in. She was facing the wall. Seeing her crying like that, I can't yell at her.
"Margaret, ok.....we need a few ground rules. 1. No crying allowed. I can't stand seeing you cry." She turned over and faced me smiling, her face tear stained. "2. Forgive me for not telling you about Mickey. I just didn't want everything to cave in around me.....wich it did anyway...but-"
"Shut up and come here." We hugged. "I'm so sorry Hawkeye." she whispered. "It's ok. Now is it okay if I go back to your house and get it ready for you?" I asked. "No." "What?!?" She can be so annoying. But I don't know what I'd do without her. "I want you to stay here, Hawk." "If you insist." I didn't need to much insisting to stay. "Oh, one last thing. I'd feel much better if you'd stay with us for a while, Margaret. Please?" "I'll have to think about it for a while..." she replied. "Well, I guess because if I said no, you'd be at MY house every minute of every day." Was her answer.
"And don't worry- I can cook."
"Great, because I can't." We laughed and kissed.
~ It felt like an eternity since we had kissed. Too bad it had to end because of another nurse's wonderful timing. I didn't care though. We continued kissing for what felt like forever.
"Dr. Pierce, you have a phone call. Ms. Houlihan, you can go home tomorrow."
"Hi Mickey! What going on?"
"Grandpa said I could call you. He wants you."
"Dad? What up?"
"You better come home, now. She's trying to take Mickey again."
"Can't you stop her?"
"Yes, but legally, you have to be here. She is going to get a court order. Get here now please!"
"I'm on my way."
"Leave. Now. Julia you have NO RIGHT to take my son!" I'm mad enough that I can't be there with Margaret and now Julia comes along. Could this day get any better? "Hawkeye....Ben...he's my son, too," said Julia. "First off, don't EVER call me Ben and he's NOT yours anymore! So, GET OUT NOW!!!!" She stomped off. Good riddance. Now back to the hospital to see Margaret. "Mickey lets go see Margaret. I don't want you to be here without me."
~ The door opened. I expected it would be another nurse or doctor. I was right. The only thing was, the doctor was Hawkeye. "Hi!" "Hi! Are you to the point where you're so bored you're counting down the hours 'til you can go home?" Hawk asked. "Yeah..it's really boring here." Then I noticed Mickey was there with Hawkeye. "Hi, Mickey." "Hi," he answered in a small voice. "We just had a visit from his mother. Just what we needed to make our day," said Hawkeye. "Spare me." "We're trying to get all the junk out of the spare room for when you get to leave this place. It's nowhere near done. Might just end up moving the bed into my room." "I wouldn't mind that." I threw Hawkeye a evil glance and then gave an angelic smile. "Oh, I bet you would," he said.
The nurse walked in. "Children aren't supposed to be here past 9. You're going to have to leave."
"I'm the doctor here and I say he stays."
"Ok, Doctor Pierce." She left. Good riddance.
"Margaret, do you mind staying at my place or would you rather be at your house?"
"Hawkeye...of course I don't mind staying with you. Why would I?"
"Just wondering...say, maybe I can pull a few strings and get you out of here tonight. Want me to try?"
"You bet! I rather be in...er.. at your place." Oops. Mickey is here. Good move. A few minutes later, he came back in. "Ok, you're coming home with us!"
"I'm sorry to say this, but you and Hawkeye have to share his room," Daniel informed us when we got in the door. "That's ok, Margaret won't mind, will you?" Hawkeye asked me. "Not at all." I smiled at Hawkeye and winked. "I can tell by that little wink, there won't be any problems," Daniel said. Darn. How'd he catch that wink? I hope he doesn't think it means what it means. Daniel took Mickey into the family room to read to him. Hawkeye grabbed me and carried my up the steps to his room. He'd set up a bed, that was more like a cot, next to his. And I mean next to. If I fell asleep and rolled over to the left, just a little bit we'd be on his bed. I knew he'd planned it that way.
"Do you think your dad could tell what that wink was about?"
"Of course. He won't mind, though. He really likes you and said he wouldn't mind if you were to become his daughter-in-law. Of course, he'd consider you to be more of a daughter...he doesn't care for that in-law stuff."
"He says it makes people sound like annoying twirps, even if they're really nice."
"Well, I think I should get some sleep...hospitals are impossible to sleep in. Especially at night." Hawkeye smiled after I said that. "Ya know, I think I'll get some 'sleep' too," Hawkeye faked a yawn.
"Oh, I know what you want. I mean, what you really, really, really want."
"Because you're thinking the same thing, huh?"
"I wouldn't go that far."
"But, I would."
"We-ll....maybe I was thinking about it in the back of my head."
"Uh, maybe a little more towards the front?"
"Try the only thing you were thinking about!"
"Who? Me?" I gave an angelic smile.
"Yes, you." He turned off the lights...need I describe what happened next? Nah...we just "slept."