by Anne Campbell and Nsalem
As Igor cleaned up the Officers Club after a long night of all-camp boozing, he noticed that crouched over the table in the corner was a weeping Major Houlihan. He walked over to her and laid his hand gently on her shoulder. "Major, I have to close up the bar now." He said, shaking her gently. She sat up and wiped her eyes. Just as she seemed composed enough to leave, she collapsed onto Igor, weeping loudly.
"What's wrong Major?"
"Donald. He had a affair with another women."
"I'm so sorry major," Igor said while patting her back.
"Do you want to come to my quarters?"
"I don't know major. I'm a enlisted man your an officer and your vulnerable right now."
"It doesn't matter, I'm in love with you!" she exclaimed and threw her arms around him. He peeled her off and said,
"Major, I think thats the booze talking. Lets get you back to your tent."
"Oh, you think so, I'm not sure. I'll just sleep here." Margaret said, and sat down again. Igor pulled her to her feet and dragged her over to her tent. He unlatched the door and pulled her in behind him. After laying her on the bed, he sat down on the end of her bed to catch his breath. Margaret grabbed him and kissed him on the mouth. Embarrassed, shocked, and a little happy, he stood up with a jolt. Margaret was acting crazy and he was scared. Not necessarily of her but what Colonel Potter would do to him if he ever found out. He ran as fast as he could out of her tent and back to his own. Margaret walked in after him.
"Major get out of here."
"Not for five minutes."
"I'll get the colonel."
"You don't want to get in trouble do you?"
"Yes I do."
"Now come on Igor, I love you."
"Ma'am, no offense, but a few hours ago you loved Donald and you were sober, now you're drunk and you love me. My Mom told me not to trust people like that."
"Your Mom isn't here now private."
"Major, stop please."
"Igor!" shouted his tent mate, "Will you and your girlfriend be quiet!"
"Major, just leave."
"Fine Igor, but I'm still madly in love with you."
"Sure Major, and stop calling me Igor. My name is Maxwell. Why does no one ever call me that anymore?"
"I don't know, Maxwell." Margaret said, gazing deep into his eyes.
"Goodnight Major." He said firmly. She blew him a kiss and retreated back to her tent, where she dropped onto her cot and fell asleep immediately.
The next morning in the mess tent Igor didn't look at Margaret.
"Whats for lunch Igor?"
"Liver or fish."
"I'll take the fish and do you remember what happened last night. I can't remember anything but fainting last night in the officers club."
"Nothing I just put you to bed."
"I though so. You know, I had this really strange dream that I kissed you and followed you back to your tent but you kicked me out. Its silly, doesn't really matter. It was just a dream."
"Ma'am, I didn't want to embarrass you, but that did happen." Igor whispered.
"Oh, oh my goodness. Maxwell...er, Igor, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."
"Its okay Major. I understand." Igor said, and plopped some liver on Hawkeye's waiting tray. Before he could say anything, BJ had pushed him on and lead him over to the table where Margaret was sitting. As Hawkeye suspiciously sniffed his food, BJ studied Margaret, who had not acknowledged them and was sitting, staring off into space.
"Hey," BJ said loudly, "Margaret, what's going on?"
"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking."
"Look, I heard about Donald. I'm really sorry."
"Yeah." Said Margaret. "Sad. I have something to do, I'll see you later."
With that she left behind a disgusted Hawkeye and a bewildered BJ at the table, as she strode out of the mess tent door, and re-entered through the back entrance. Igor had finished serving and was seated on a stool next to the stove, gulping down his own sloppy serving of fish. She approached him cautiously and reached out to touch his hand.
"Maxwell," she said, "It wasn't just the booze talking last night. I think you are kind, wonderful man. I..I really do love you."
"But," Igor said with expectation.
"But I'm a major and you are a private. And its just not meant to be."
"I understand major."
"Maxwell, you are one of the people in this world that I do not regret meeting. In fact, I'm very glad we met. I'm very glad that there are still kind, accepting people in this world. I feel something for everyone here in camp, but you Maxwell, will always be very special to me. I will always care for you. But it just can't be, any way we look at it."
"I understand Major. I feel the same way." Margaret gave him a quick hug and she walked away. Igor sat for a few moment thinking, and then turned back to his meal.