This story is dedicated to Krystal Thompson and a person who I would like to call Chaos lady. They helped make this story possible.
It was a stunning day in Korea, with the most beautiful weather the residents had seen in a very long time. The sun was shining brightly. Not a single cloud was in the sky. Where the 4077th was sitting you'd believe that there wasn't a war here. Ah, it looked like a gigantic camp out or a training hospital for war. It didn't look like it was close to a combat zone. Just the same, it was. Don't ever let those surroundings fool you, though, believe me. Just over those massive hills lies the theatre of war.
Inside the 4077th camp, the day was enjoyed by most. You could see the enlisted personnel playing soccer, football and basketball. Some were just playing cards in a hot tub made out of sheet metal. Of course, not all the doctors were present. If they were this day might become better for the officers of this army. Hawkeye and BJ were in Tokyo having 48 hour R&R, rest and relaxation.
As for the rest of the gang, they were stuck inside. They had a big dilemma on their hands. How these doctors were going to fix this mess was beyond me. Obviously they needed drugs, penicillin. But there isn't any penicillin; the last package had been stolen. They had tried phoning supply but they take forever to accomplish things.
There were massive amounts of infections in the wounded soldiers. The floorboards had become rotten once again. The 4077th became tired of it. But sadly all they could do was replace them. The wounded kept rolling in. Thank goodness the doctors caught it before anymore came for surgery.
There were fevers, soreness and many pains that couldn't be healed by the 4077th MASH Unit doctors, though here, most things could be healed. The doctors over at this MASH Unit were very skilled. The causalities with injuries could be taken care of by surgery, but the materials that were there couldn't relieve these infections that all the casualties were dealing with. Sick people encircled the doctors and the nurses. None of those people knew what to do about it. It had been driving those people nuts since the whole thing happened.
"People, I'm open to suggestions. Here we have a load of infected people and not way of helping them through it. No supplies; in fact, we've got a whole lot of nothing. You guys, what are we going to do?" Colonel Potter asked. At this point he was frightened for his patients more than anything else. His mind wasn't clear.
"There's not much we can do. We'll have to ask for a shipment of penicillin as soon as they can get it," Margaret stated.
"State the obvious, Major like you normally do! We have enough problems as it is with out you telling me what to do all the time!" Colonel Potter exclaimed. Radar came into the room and stood behind the Colonel.
"Yes sir," Margaret replied.
"I'm sorry," the Colonel said as he took a deep breath.
"Well, we've got to figure something out," Frank said as he scratched his nose. As usual, you see, old pickle face was putting his two cents in it. The Colonel wanted to punch him but he knew that he'd just go on report.
"If we didn't have to think of something I wouldn't be talking still Burns. I know, why don't you sit in the corner and sort out paper clips from largest to smallest."
"If that will help the situation, you can count on me sir."
"It will help the situation Major, now get cracking!"
"Yes sir." Frank went to it, collecting paper clips from the desk. There were only two sizes. Sherman was happy because it would be Frank who would be out of their way. Colonel Potter rubbed his temple with his pointer and middle finger.
"Radar!" he screamed. Radar tapped him on the back, which made the Colonel jump. Sherman's eyes widened as he turned around slowly. His hands clenched as he moved them up towards Radar's face. Radar closed his eyes tightly. He was sure the Colonel was going to nail him in the face. The Colonel just smiled and took off Radar's hat.
"Do I really have to say anything, Radar?" Sherman questioned.
"No, sir," Radar replied. He sighed with relief as the Colonel put his hat back on. Colonel Potter patted him on the head.
"Any suggestions that involve some real thinking with real solutions? I don't want to stand here all day trying to get something out of nothing. Now people, we're standing here with many infectious soldiers." Everyone was speechless. No one had a solution to this problem. "Padre, do you have any ideas?"
Father Mulcahy tapped his foot slowly on the floor. He shook his head no. Being a doctor is one thing, but thinking like one was another. Father had managed to come up with brilliant ideas before, but on this one he seemed to be stumped.
Klinger could scrounge for them or Radar could call around maybe. Penicillin wasn't exactly an easy item to get and what did they have to trade? A pup tent that was sent there by accident and some new medical books...those wouldn't go over real well.
Margaret tried to think of an idea, but her mind was on something else. As she was looking in her pocket and fumbled with a piece of paper, a letter that she'd received from her Father. You could tell that she wasn't focused on the current situation. "If only Hawkeye and BJ were here. They'd have a solution," Margaret mumbled to herself.
"What'd you say?" The Colonel demanded. Now all eyes were on the major. She rolled the ball of her left foot and stared at it solemnly.
"I said BJ and Hawkeye would be able to figure this out," Margaret stated.
"Wait a minute...we're stuck with these sick people and they're out there."
"Don't you get it Margaret?"
"No sir I don't."
"The boys can bring us back some from...well where they are!" Colonel Potter gave Margaret a big kiss on the forehead and swung her around the room. "You're brilliant!" he screamed.
This left Margaret and the rest of the gang totally in wonder. What came over the Colonel? One minute, he was tired and angry and the next joyful and playful. The entire group noted this change. "Huh?"
Meanwhile, in Tokyo...
BJ and Hawkeye were in a real hot tub sipping real apple cider. It was a treat compared to the usual slop you find at the 4077th mess. "Ah, the joy of relaxation," Hawkeye said as he reached for the nearest woman. She was a tourist.
"Relax somewhere else!" she said as she slapped him in the face.
"Oh, come on, sweetheart, you know you want me."
"When pigs fly...I will take you up on your offer then."
"You mean it?"
"Well I'll put them on a helicopter for you." Hawkeye smiled and grabbed the woman. He gave her the biggest kiss anyone has ever seen. She tried to pull away but was only pushed closer and closer by the playful Hawk.
Her eyes widened as the kisses became more passionate. He grabbed her back pulling the woman in. She didn't seem to mind at all. She began to kiss back...better than some of Hawkeye's kisses. The young woman rubbed Hawkeye's bare chest.
Hawkeye finally looked up at her. He had this big smile on his face." You're good...very good," Hawkeye commented.
"I should be...I went to the college of romance," The woman replied.
"Ah, you're a jokester too huh?"
"I keep my funny bone active."
"Well maybe you want to talk to some little kids...what you think? I could leave now," Hawkeye said with a smile. She looked at him.
"I'm Angela, and you may stay," Angela stated as she grabbed Hawkeye. Angie gave him a kiss worthy of the Guinness Book of World Records. It was revolting, it was long, and it was romantic. Hawkeye enjoyed every minute of the kiss. It was the first time in a while that he had seen a new face. Hawkeye had missed being able to just kiss.
"Disgusting...get a room! I want my wife," BJ pouted as he took another sip of his cider. As always, BJ stayed faithful to his darling wife Peg. He loved her more than life itself. Every day just one thought of her would keep him busy, but at moments like this BJ just wanted to hold Peg. But move than anything, kiss her and love her. He missed her more than life itself.
"Hi there big boy, you're not getting into the action like that black haired wonder over there. You say you're married?" a girl asked BJ. She was tall with deep shoulders and beautiful auburn eyes that brought out her completion. She had deep brown hair.
"Yeah, I am," said BJ wistfully.
"You know, your faithfulness is something your wife must treasure in you."
"I hope so...I love my wife...I would trade all of this for her. I would give up my life so she could live."
"You're a romantic...I wish my husband could have that quality."
"Is he in the army?"
"Sure. He's a general. I think he's one of the best. But he can't stay faithful."
"Well I think that you should drop him right now. If he doesn't stay true to you then he doesn't deserve be with you."
"He loves me, he really does. He just likes every woman that looks anything like me." BJ loved every minute of a good conversation. He'd rather talk to a person than watch Hawkeye play kissy face.
"So, you're on R&R?"
"Yeah...I wish that everyday could be a holiday. Look at those clouds over the light blue sky. Sometimes you would think that there was no war."
"Yeah...until you see the bodies war brings."
"You're a doctor huh?"
"Yeah...I am a good one at that. I wish I didn't have to sit there and put bodies together from nothing."
"Hoping they'll survive another day...yet you can never be sure."
"You're a nurse?"
"Yeah...I work in a M*A*S*H unit...8063rd."
"Really? We're practically neighbors."
One of the waiters came into the pool area. "Is there a Hawkeye Pierce or BJ Hunnicutt around here?" He asked. Not now I don't want anything to go wrong, BJ thought. This would probably mean he had to take two days instead of three, and BJ didn't want to take the call. He needed the time away. The waiter called the names once again. BJ hesitated.
BJ was hoping his good friend Hawkeye would put up his hand. Hawk just kept kissing Angie. BJ just shrugged. "I'll take it, Hawk," BJ stated as he got out of the tub.
"Be back soon . . . umm . . ." the girl trailed off.
"It's BJ, and you never know with phone calls."
"I'm Harriet, and I'll wait. You're a good listener."
"That's what my wife tells me."
"Good, at least she recognizes your talents."
"Thanks." BJ smiled as he went out. I guess it had been a while since he'd seen someone besides the nurses in the unit. Some of them weren't every open. BJ had only been on the phone for five minutes when he came out. Hawkeye was still kissing his sweetheart passionately.