Everybody Loves Frank. Wait a Minute, No They Don't...

After the lecture, Adrienne returned to post op to check on Thompson. She hoped he was in better condition, she didn't think he could go through another operation. She walked up to Nurse Baker, who was looking over Thompson's chart.

"How's he doing?"

"He's stopped vomiting," Baker replied, "but he still has a high fever."

Adrienne sighed. Close but no cigar. "Keep him on the IV and let me know if his condition changes."

"Yes Doctor."

Adrienne was about to leave when she decided to check Thompson over before she left. She took Baker's stethoscope and listened to his breathing. She didn't notice Frank enter and approach her.

"Captain Jacobson," he said.

Adrienne glanced up at him. She fought back the overwhelming urge to call him Ferret Face. "Major Burns."

"I see you've been spending time with Captains Pierce and McIntyre. I hope they're not corrupting you in any way."

"It's too late, Major, I'm already corrupted. Did you know I crashed General Clayton's jeep into my CO's quarters at the 8063rd?"

"What??" Frank yelled.

"Yeah. That's why I was transferred here."

"You have no right being in the Army! You've disgraced those of us who-"

"Oh, lighten up, Ferret Face!" Adrienne cut him off, suddenly turning angry. Frank gasped. "I've had a really long day and I'm tired. I'm not in the mood for a lecture from the likes of you, so BACK OFF!"

She handed the stethoscope back to Nurse Baker and stormed out of the post op, Frank watching in shock. Nurse Baker covered her mouth, desperately trying to hide her giggling. She failed. Frank glared at her. She coughed and continued her rounds.


Adrienne walked through the camp, trying to calm down. She supposed she shouldn't have yelled at Frank like that, but he was already grating on her last nerve and she hadn't even gotten to know him yet. She saw Hawkeye and Trapper heading towards the showers and broke into a huge grin. Her opportunity to strike!

"Who's your date with tonight?" Trapper asked Hawkeye as they made their way to the showers.

"Nurse Baker," Hawkeye replied with a smile.

"Didn't you go out with her last night?"

"Yeah, but the show was so great, it requires an encore."

They went into the showers. Unbeknownst to them, Adrienne was right behind them, waiting for the right moment...

Hawkeye and Trapper took their robes off and hung them up, along with their towels. They stepped into the showers and started showering. As you do.

"Do you think Adrienne knows it was us?" Trapper asked.

"Nah," Hawkeye replied. "There are plenty of other people here who could have done it."

Trapper shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

While they weren't looking, the door opened. Adrienne reached in and took their robes and towels. She smirked and quietly closed the door. She left the showers and went over to the flagpole. She removed the flag and replaced it with the robes. She went to the nurse's tent. She decided she wanted some help with this.

Hawkeye stepped out of the shower and reached for his towel... which wasn't there.



"Looks like Adrienne knows it was us after all."

Trapper did a wide-eyed double take when he noticed the things that would cover his nakedness were gone. He got out of the shower, staring in disbelief.

"Should we make a run for it?" he asked.

"What choice have we got?"

"We could stay here until someone rescues us," Trapper suggested.

Hawkeye looked arrogant. "And end up looking stupid?"

Trapper gave him a look as if to say, "Too late!" Hawkeye's shoulders sagged. He knew what they had to do. He opened the door a crack and peeked out. No one was around, so he and Trapper walked out. They still saw no one. They looked at each other and sighed with relief. They turned around to head back to the Swamp and came face to face with Adrienne.

"Hello boys," she smiled.

She looked Hawkeye up and down, then Trapper. She was mildly impressed. She put her thumb and forefinger in her mouth and whistled loudly. Suddenly, the lights came on. Hawk and Trap almost died when they realised that everyone in the camp was there. A couple of nurses raised cameras and began snapping photos.

"Revenge is sweet," Adrienne said proudly.

She winked and walked away.

"Damn, I'm good," she laughed to herself.


Adrienne groaned. Her moment ruined.

Father Knows Best

Hawkeye, Trapper, Adrienne and Henry walked out of OR after spending three days in surgery. Adrienne was tired and wanted to go to bed. She kept her mouth shut, though because Hawkeye probably would have offered to go with her.

"How long were we in there?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

"Three days," Henry replied and walked off to his tent.

"God," Adrienne sighed.

Hawkeye stretched as they walked.

"You guys really let Frank have it!" Adrienne said to Hawk and Trap. "He doesn't seem like that bad a doctor to me. He did his job, isn't that enough?"

"If malpractice is his job," Trapper replied.

She thought Frank was a competent doctor, despite what Hawkeye and Trapper had said to him in surgery. She'd apologised to him during a break for yelling at him and he accepted. Of course, Hawkeye and Trapper ruined it when they grabbed him and shoved a spleen down his pants. He screamed like a girl, which reinforced her former theory that he was a moron. Still a competent doctor, but a moron nonetheless.

"In any case, I've never heard such classics!" Adrienne chuckled.

"Bob Hope asked us to tour with him," Hawkeye joked.

Adrienne started laughing, but stopped and crossed her arms. "I forgot, I'm still angry with you."

"Look, let's call a truce, OK?" Trapper offered. "No more playing jokes on each other."

"Yeah," Hawkeye added. "Let's find a common interest."

"Like what?" Adrienne asked suspiciously.

"Playing jokes on Frank," Hawkeye said matter-of-factly.

Adrienne pondered that for a moment, then grinned. She held her hand out.


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