2

FRANK
Who knows what they'll get up to while we're away?

MARGARET
They do whatever they want whether we're here or not. What difference does it make?

He sits on the bed next to Margaret.

FRANK
Last time I was gone they put peanut butter in all of my socks! They drew a moustache on my photo of my mother! And they placed a personal ad under my name in Nudists Quarterly!

MARGARET
I know they're completely contemptible, Frank, but we may not have another chance to go!
(smiles suggestively)
Besides, I have an outfit picked out especially for the trip...

FRANK
Really?

MARGARET
Uh-huh. It's see through under certain lights.

Frank gulps audibly.

MARGARET
Would you like a preview?

Frank smiles his lipless smile and nods. Margaret grins and stands up.

CUT TO:

INT. THE SWAMP – 4:56PM

Hawkeye, Trapper, Radar, Henry and Adrienne are playing another hand. There's quite a lot of money on the table. The others are watching Adrienne intently as she stares at her cards. She deliberately takes her time. She eventually puts $20 down.

ADRIENNE
I call.

The others nervously put their cards down. Adrienne smiles and shows her hand. Royal flush. The guys groan. Adrienne giggles proudly and takes her winnings.

HAWKEYE
How did you do that?

ADRIENNE
I have a system. Another game?

TRAPPER
Forget it!

Adrienne shrugs and begins counting her loot.

HAWKEYE
I'd better go, I have post op duty.

ADRIENNE
(sarcastically)
Have fun!

HAWKEYE
You know, I hope you get robbed.

ADRIENNE
(pointing)
You're just sore because you were beaten by a girl!

TRAPPER
He's just sore because he was beaten.

ADRIENNE
Ha-HA!!

She continues counting. Henry stands up.

HENRY
I'm going back on duty. Radar—

RADAR
Coming, Sir.

HENRY
—Are you coming?

Henry hangs his head and sighs.

HENRY
I wish you'd stop doing that.

RADAR
Sorry, Sir.

Henry, Radar and Hawkeye leave. Adrienne finishes counting and tucks the money in one of her boots while Trapper gets himself a martini. Adrienne stands up and looks at him. He looks really cute in his bathrobe (not the yellow one, the other one). She cocks her head to the side.

ADRIENNE
Well. We're all alone.

TRAPPER
Looks like it.

She smiles somewhat seductively.

ADRIENNE
I wonder what we're gonna do now...

CUT TO:

INT. POST OP – 5:00PM

Hawkeye saunters in. He sees Nurse Baker looking at the chart of a soldier with a wounded leg. He smirks and goes up to her.

HAWKEYE
Hi beautiful.

BAKER
Not now, Captain, I'm on duty.

HAWKEYE
What? Can't I say hello to you?

BAKER
(smirking)
Not like that. We're in public.

Hawkeye grins. He knows his date with her is going to be eventful to say the least. He goes over to a patient and begins his rounds.

HAWKEYE
Hi Perkins, how do you feel?

PERKINS
(dryly)
Like I've been shot.

HAWKEYE
That explains it.

He picks up Perkins's chart and looks it over.

PERKINS
How am I doing, Doc?

HAWKEYE
Nothing a little TLC from one of our nurses won't fix.

PERKINS
That's a relief.

HAWKEYE
Except for Nurse Baker. I have dibs on her.

PERKINS
I'm sure I'll get over it.

HAWKEYE
(with one of his smirks)
No, you won't.

Hawkeye puts the chart back and moves on to the next patient.