"Major Houlihan!"

"Frank." she nearly fell off Hawk's lap.

Hawkeye pulled her closer."Go away.. Frank."

"And what are you and she doing?"

"Well.. she had something in her eye.."

"It's a little too close for comfort."

"Frank, what are you doing in here?"

"Colonel Blake asked me to get something."

"Fine.. get it and leave." she stood up.

"Margaret.. just wait." he walked behind the shelves.

She turned to look at Hawkeye and frowned.

"What?" he mouthed.

"Nothing." she mouthed back.

Frank pulled out the supplies and then found what he needed and came back and ignored the two. He expected her to follow him and when she didn't....he slammed the door.

She bowed her head."Thanks a lot."

"What did we do? Oh.. I see." he stood up.

"I want to be here."

"You want to have some fun?"

"With you I bet?"

"Shh... just come with me." he took her hand.

They walked to the Colonel's office and woke up Radar.

"Radar.. wake up...get Frank's wife on the phone."

"Is it an emergency ... sirs?"

"No.. just be sure you tell her this."Hawkeye was writing something.

Radar took the paper and looked in the files for Louise Burns phone number.

"We'll be out here."

Radar got on the phone with Louise Burns and proceeded to tell her. He heard

her scream and he got the microphone to page Frank.

It was a few minutes later and Frank walked in."There's a call for me?"

"Your wife... sir."

"Let me have that phone." Frank walked in the office.

Radar went through the doors and stopped. He saw the two kissing. He cleared his throat."Excuse me.. sirs."

Hawkeye moved away and followed Radar. He put the headphones on. She came in and stood there.

"Louise? ....dear.. you called?" Frank had the phone to his ear. "I did what?"

Hawkeye smiled at her and she gave him a smile back.

"I never did." Frank nearly yelled.

Radar sat on the cot and smiled too."I told her that he was .. you know."

"Good.. Radar."

"She was mad."

"He's mad too."Hawkeye whispered.

Margaret listened and then she frowned.

"Major Houlihan... there's.. no one here... unless you count that old war horse..with bosoms."

Margaret put down the headset and walked out.

Hawkeye looked at Radar. "Stay here." He walked after her and to her tent.

She was sitting on the bed. "Hawkeye."

"I heard what she said."

"You didn't hear what he said.. He called me an old war horse with .. you know."

"I don't.. know... that word."

She shook her head."You men think about it."

"Hmm." he said.

"Okay, the female body." she whispered.

"A part of the body?" he said.


He looked at her and then away. He had the idea and he didn't like it. He put his arms around her. She leaned her head against him.

"So.. do you think so?"

"Yeah..."he murmured. He realized she was quiet."No... that's an insult."

"So you agree?"

"Hmm.." he kissed her. He shook his head."You want to forget about him?"

"I think he needs to.. be shot. and technically if a horse has a broken leg.. that's what you do."

"So, Frank is a horse... no he's a mule."

She was laughing too."That's a great one."

"Serves him right if we say that."

"No.. really... we shouldn't."

"I can't believe he called you that.. I mean... you.. well.. your.. um.. you.."

"So you look?"

"I'm not looking."

"You had a smirk on your face."

"I did?"

"So you thought of it?"


"Say that to me with a straight face."


She put her hands on his face."Uh huh."

"Look.. if I say this.. and. well.. please don't.. be insulted."

"I'm not."

"You're.. very.. um.. put together."

She turned her head away."Thank you...I guess."

He had his arms around her."I'm telling the truth."

She gave him a smile."Hawkeye.. I look at you."




"I'm not going to ask."

"I'm not going to tell."

"You think.. um.. I can.. come back."


"How about asking Henry if we can go again."


"Just us."


"I really need to get you alone."

"We are alone."


She put her head on his shoulder."So.. you want to get me alone."

"Yes.." he kissed her.

"Just a kiss."


"A date?"

"Shh.. yes."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Tomorrow." he got up.


"Good night.' he kissed her on the cheek.

"Night Hawk." she walked him to the door.

He stood there and didn't care and he kissed her. He walked out and saw Trapper.



"I saw you leave the Major's tent."

"And how do you know I was there?."


"You are not saying a word.. she's my favorite officer."

"Hmm. and Ferret Face is your least favorite."


"Care to elaborate?"


"Hawkeye.. it's okay.. and I'm not telling."


"Not even complaining from Ferret Face.It's us against him."

"And her."


"You and she.. "


"So, it's not she and he against us.. it's.. you and she.. and then me."


Hawkeye lay on his bunk. He smiled and thought of her. Trap was right.. it was now the three of them against Frank. And Frank knew it and he wasn't going to hurt them or her. Hawkeye would make sure he looked after her.. well.. she really was special... his favorite officer... and that was that.

The End

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