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Chapter 4: The Addams Family Meet Mulcahy

It was clouding up as the thunderstorm of Thanksgiving weekend of 1957 was coming into progress as the GREAT NORTHERN R.R. passenger train THE EMPIRE BUILDER pulled into the depot at GRAND RAPIDS, MINNESOTA whilst en route to SEATTLE, WASHINGTON. RADAR was in his uniform just checking his watch & keeping an eye on the thunderstorm brewing up above the depot. Then off the train stepped his old friend JOHN FRANCIS PATRICK MULCAHY wearing a pin-striped suit similar to the ones worn by AL CAPONE in 1920'S CHICAGO. It included a fedora hat & spats for the shoes. Then MULCAHY said "How's the new county sheriff?" RADAR turned around saying "FATHER MULCAHY! I'M just so glad to see you!" "Please, RADAR I'M no longer a JESUIT. I'M a full-fledged PENTECOSTAL PARSON now!" "Oh! Yeah. I just forgot". "That's O.K. Just help get my luggage". "Certainly, SIR". "Try calling me JOHN, RADAR?" "Whatever you say!"

So they put the suitcases in the back of RADAR'S 1950 CHEVROLET pick-up & drove to the ADDAMS mansion at 0001 CEMETERY LANE where MAUREEN (BIGELOW) O'REILLY & her good friend MORTICIA FRUMP ADDAMS were preparing for tomorrow's THANKSGIVING get-together. Then the ADDAMS' door bell rang out it's usual foghorn sound. Next the ADDAMS' butler LURCH CRABWELL came to the door & announced "SHERIFF O'REILLY & PARSON MULCAHY". Then a voice on the stairs said "RADAR, old chap! You finally brought your good friend PARSON MULCAHY the JESUIT whom became PENTECOSTAL to join us for THANKSGIVING tomorrow!?" That was GOMEZ ADDAMS the owner of the mansion. MULCAHY said "Well, MR. ADDAMS I hope it's no inconvenience?" "Not at all. I always say the more the merrier!!!!!" Then into the living room walked MRS. ADDAMS' parental-uncle namely, UNCLE FESTER FRUMP whom said "Well, a parson in the house. How nice! From what order do hail from, SIR?" MULCAHY replied "originally I was born into the JESUIT order of the ROMAN-CATHOLIC church, but now I'M a full-fledged PENTECOSTAL parson!" "That's so nice to hear. You know this calls for a lil' ol' drink, GOMEZ". GOMEZ replied "I'll ring for LURCH to fetch us a bottle of Le VAT '68 for the occasion!" Then GOMEZ grabbed a hangman's noose & pulled on it thereby ringing a large Japanese gong. Then into the living room walked LURCH asking "You rang?" GOMEZ said "LURCH fetch a bottle of Le VAT '68 & some good glasses for this welcoming of PARSON MULCAHY".

"Yes, MR. ADDAMS". So LURCH came back with the wine & glasses. As GOMEZ poured the wine into the glasses steam rose up out of the glasses! MULCAHY asked "Is the wine somewhat warmed-over?" GOMEZ said "No. Not at all. Steam rising from the glasses is quite common with all the wines in the wine-cellar of the ADDAMS family! I'M just so sorry I could not offer any SACRAMENTO wine seeing as how the cellar is somewhat poorly stocked on it. However, I'll try to order some for your next visit, friend!" Then came THANKSGIVING day 1957 & the guests at the ADDAMS mansion were to the point of filled capacity. SIDNEY FREEDMAN & family showed up along with TRAPPER'S family, B.J.'S family, CHARLES' family, Both of MULCAHY'S sisters, KLINGER & SOON-LEE'S family, POTTER'S family, HENRY BLAKE'S widow & kids, & especially RADAR'S mother whom came over to AMERICA in the 1920'S as a mail-order-bride sometime after the death of RADAR'S 2 older brothers (from his father's first marriage) whom died in WW1 & the death of MR. O'REILLY'S first wife from smallpox. Most of the children were kept busy courtesy of a 1ST cousin to GOMEZ ADDAMS named ITT ADDAMS. SIDNEY FREEDMAN was playing BILL HALEY'S "ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK" on the old 1503 KRUPNIK HARPSICHORD which had been in the ADDAMS for many generations. SHERMAN POTTER was tuned into the annual MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE being broadcast from NEW YORK CITY on the tv set. SOON-LEE'S groovy KOREAN dishes made for appetizing delights of all sorts!

Soon time came to carve the turkey & with MULCAHY as the guest of honor he was asked to carve it for them. Then later after dinner everybody gathered at the tv set for an all night marathon of the 3 STOOGES! This was quite a surprise as SOON-LEE laughed when CURLY said to MOE "You got all the onesies!" & MOE replied "Well, here's twosies!" as he poked CURLY in the eyes. Then LARRY put his two-cents worth in by saying "You have the onesies. He has the twosies....." Then MOE said "Here's fivesies!!!!!" as he slapped LARRY on the face! Of course, the old STOOGE short they were all watching was called "DISORDER IN THE COURT". Next came "MALICE IN THE PALACE" in LARRY, MOE, & SHEMP (all 3) dressed up as SANTA so they could break into a SULTAN'S palace somewheres in the middle east in order to recover a stolen gem called THE ROOTAN-TOOTAN DIAMOND! CHARLES said "Really! The idea of recovering a stolen diamond by dressing up as SANTA CLAUS in order to break & enter a middle east SULTAN'S palace! HARRY COHN over at COLUMBIA PICTURES has bats in belfry for concocting an idea of that sort!?" GOMEZ asked "I wonder how much money he'd want if he sold those bats?" CHARLES replied "It's just a figure of speech, MR. ADDAMS!" "Oh! Sorry about DR. WINCHESTER".