3

"Okay. Lieutenant Colonel Major- if you haven't met him he's the funny looking guy at the end of the table- has devised a plan to get rid of Flagg and Washington. Sergeant Snowden, his trusty assistant, will assist him in presenting it. Take it away, Major," said Trapper.

"Okay, men, your camp has been over run by the CIA. They ransacked our camp so I decided to help you guys out. Plus, I love a good practical joke. Okay, these guys are after a man who currently goes by Major Salgin, but also has many other aliases, such as Captain Carter. Major Salgin works for the CIA also, but for some reason Flagg and Washington want to kill him. Margaret is getting that information right now. While we're waiting for the information here's the layout of the plan."

20:00 Hours: Outside of Post-Op

"Salgin, man, you are wanted red hot. We're going to you out of here before you get your brains blown out. Here's my advice, change your name and keep a good distance from Flagg and Washington. They want to kill you," said Klinger as he lifted Salgin into the ambulance.

"Yeah, I know. I ruined one of their dumb missions and they're out to get me for it. Wait, you're a guy in a dress!" yelled Salgin.

"Yeah, I'm crazy. Can you put that on file? Oh yeah, you had better stop raiding MASH supplies or else crazy doctors are going to start chasing you with guns," said Klinger.

"Oh, that means you probably want this stuff back," said Salgin as he handed Klinger a couple of boxes of penicillin and a pair of earrings.

"My silver hoops! Why did you steal those?" asked Klinger.

"I can get good intelligence with jewelry. There's this guy who has a fussy wife who loves jewelry," said Salgin. "Well, I've got to go, bye."

"Bye Salgin, you're just as crazy as Flagg and Washington," said Klinger.

20:10: Mess Tent

"Colonel Flagg, Salgin is waking up," said Hawkeye.

"Good, I'll be there as soon as I finish my mashed potatoes," said Colonel Flagg.

20:12: Mess Tent: Kitchen

"Colonel Washington, sir, I must say that rice smells delicious, but you've got to come to Post-Op. Salgin has woken up," said Margaret.

"All right, just as soon as I finish this rice," said Colonel Washington.

20:18: Post-Op

"Okay, Flagg and Washington have exited the Mess Tent," said Radar.

"All right, places everyone. Hawk, ready?" asked Snowden.

"Can't wait!"

"Henry, ready?"

"Why did you stick me under here?"

"Trapper, ready?"

"No, it's Major Salgin, remember. I'm trying to get into character."

"Major, ready?"

"Sure am."

"Klinger, ready?"

"Ready Snowden, I'm even wearing my purple skirt and sweater set with my lucky purple pumps."

"Radar, ready?"

"Yup, standing post."

"Father Mulcahy, ready?"

"Yes, though I still don't know what is going on here."

"Margaret, ready?"

"Just about."

"Snowden, ready? More ready then I'll ever be. Ahh, I love doing that."

"Wait, what about me?" asked Frank.

"Oh, Frank, I forgot about you. Go to the Mess Tent and eat," said Major.

"How will that help?" asked Frank.

"We'll tell you later," said Snowden.

Okay," said Frank. Frank left Post-Op.

"Okay, everyone, Flagg and Washington are in our zone. Everyone had better be ready," said Radar.

Colonel Flagg walked into Post-Op a few minutes ahead of Colonel Washington.

"What are you doing here, Corporal?" asked Colonel Flagg.

"Uh, working. I'll be going now," said Radar .

"You bet your bones you will. Now scram," said Colonel Flagg.

"You're looking for Major Salgin, right?" asked Hawkeye.

"Show me to his bed, now!" yelled Colonel Flagg.

"You have to be quiet, Colonel, people are sleeping in here," said Hawkeye as he led him to Major Salgin's cot.

Colonel Washington walked into Post-Op.

"Hi Irving," said Margaret.

"Hi Margaret," said Colonel Washington. "Can you show me to Major Salgin's bunk?"

"Sure, he's right over there," said Margaret as she pointed to the bed where Colonel Flagg and Hawkeye were standing.

"Get out of here, Irving, he's mine!" yelled Colonel Flagg. Colonel drew his gun and pointed it at the figure lying under the covers of the cot.

"No Sam, he's mine!" yelled Colonel Washington as he too drew his gun at the figure.

"No, you're ours!" yelled Trapper as he threw off the blankets. Henry and Snowden reached out from under the bunks on either side of Salgin's old cot and grabbed Colonel Flagg's and Colonel Washington's ankles. Klinger, Lt. Col. Major, Hawkeye, and Father Mulcahy all grabbed the two secret agents.

"You imbeciles! I'm going to court martial you!" yelled Colonel Washington.

"Yeah, you're going to pay for this," yelled Colonel Flagg. The two CIA guys tried to shoot their guns, but they discovered they were squirt guns.

"Haul them away," said Henry.

The Next Morning

"Ahh, it's such a beautiful morning. Not a chopper on the sky. That saluting soldier statue adds a nice touch to the camp," said Hawkeye.

"And that new flag is flapping in the wind nicely," said Trapper.

"Untie me!" yelled Colonel Washington.

"Get me down from here!" yelled Colonel Flagg. Hawkeye and Trapper saluted Colonel Flagg, who was hanging by his drawers from the flagpole, and Colonel Washington, who was tied to the flagpole with his hand tied up so he was saluting.

"At ease, Colonel Washington," said Trapper. He snickered a bit.

"I think this is the first time I've ever saluted an American Flagg," said Hawkeye.