47

Loud cheers and hearty applause filled the room as everyone expressed their joy and delight.

"That was excellent!" Hawkeye commented as he wiped tears of laugher from his eyes. "Oh, man, wasn't that good?" He asked his two best buddies.

"Yes it certainly was." Trapper nodded with a broad smile.

"Enough with the intermission entertainment." Potter commented with a large grin. "Let's get back to the main attraction. Klinger! Roll it!"

"Right away, your colonelness." Klinger replied, eagerly flipping off the lights and turning the slide projector back on.

"Who is that?" Henry exclaimed in surprise as the next picture appeared on the screen. "And what on earth is he covered in?"

"That's Colonel Conan." Klinger replied. "And he was just the proud receiver of a M*A*S*H 4077th garbage shower courtesy of our pistol of a doctor, Hawkeye Pierce."

"This was your doing, Pierce?" Henry commented, his tone not over surprised. "What was your illogical explanation for this cruel stunt?"

"The Colonel was just getting his just desserts." The culprit replied with a serious expression on his handsome face. "He was a careless commander who would exchange warm soldiers for cold ones."

"I beg your pardon?" Henry questioned a puzzled look on his face.

"He would send his men behind enemy lines to retrieve their dead comrades, loosing a few more in the process." BJ explained his eyes sparking with anger at the thought of the senseless loss the maniac had caused.

"That's horrible!" Peg exclaimed in horror.

"Yes, it is!" Potter agreed with a sad look in his eyes. "And unfortunately it happened all too often."

"So, what was with the garbage?" Ellie asked curiously as she gazed at the picture thoughtfully.

"It was my little means of revenge." Hawkeye explained with a wicked smile.

"Actually I'm not really surprised that you were behind it, Pierce." Henry remarked with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "You were always up to some nonsense."

"You can say that again." Frank remarked with a disgusted look at Hawkeye.

"I wouldn't talk, Frank." Hawkeye remarked, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You're the one I bought the garbage off of."

"You bought the garbage off of Frank?" Trapper repeated in surprise. "Whatever for?"

"To dump on the Colonel." Hawkeye replied, gesturing to the picture.

"But why was Frank selling it in the first place?" Trapper pressed curiously.

"He was trying to make money for the camp." Potter chimed in. "He was planning on auctioning it off to the local people, figuring that they could use it for various things."

"It would have worked too if Pierce hadn't of interfered." Frank huffed with annoyance.

"I don't know, Frank." Trapper commented with a chuckle. "I think that Hawk's idea worked very well."

"Like I said before." Potter added with a laugh. "He has a flare for foolishness."

"And on that note, I give you exhibit B." Klinger commented. "In the case of confirming Hawkeye's gift for gags."

"It's Hawk and his seeing-eye Corporal!" BJ exclaimed with a laugh.

"A perfect example of 'the blind leading the blind'." Charles quipped with a chuckle.

"What's with the bandages, Hawk?" Trapper asked curiously. "New fashion statement?"

"Flash burns." Hawkeye replied. "I offered a light to a temperamental gas heater."

"That must have been scary." Trapper remarked, giving his friend a sympathetic smile.

"Actually it wasn't all bad." Hawkeye replied with a small smile. At his friend's surprised look he continued. "Without my eyes my other senses went into overdrive. One day I sat and listened to a rainstorm for two incredible hours. And I didn't just listen to it, it was as if I was a part of it. It was a truly amazing feeling."

"Well, Hawk, it sounds like you took it better than I would have." Trapper remarked. "I would have been scared stiff that I would have been blinded for good."

"Oh, trust me, the thought did cross my mind - over and over and over again." Hawkeye admitted honestly. "But I tried not to dwell on it. Fortunately everything worked out alright."

"Yes, everything worked out well." Klinger repeated in a nostalgic tone. "And Hawkeye was able to continue engaging in his favorite pass-time - lunacy. Along with the rest of the 4077th." He changed the picture to show a shot of Hawkeye standing with a beautiful nurse on his shoulders. Off to one side was Margaret on her ex-husband's broad shoulders. "Welcome to the M*A*S*H Olympics!" Klinger exclaimed.

"You had your own Olympic events?" Ellie laughed in amusement. "That sounds like fun."

"Who's that guy carrying Margaret?" Trapper asked curiously as he examined the photo closely. "I don't recognize him."

"That was his Royal Jackass, Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott." Margaret replied. "My two-timing ex."

"Ah ha." Trapper commented, looking at Margaret seriously. "I take it you don't miss him."

"Not on your life." Margaret replied, then added. "In fact, Klinger change that slide. I'm sick of looking at him."

The next picture was from the Crutch Race. It showed the contestants trying to maneuver the awkward devices.

"That looks like a very painful race." Trapper commented, his underarms just aching at the thought of racing with crutches.

"You needed patience, perseverance and strong armpits." Hawkeye replied with a sly smile.

"Which explains your graceful position on the ground." Margaret commented with a mischievous laugh.

"Speaking of graceful positions." Klinger piped up as he flipped the picture. "How does this strike you?"

"Oh, Klinger that is priceless!" Margaret exclaimed in delight as she started laughing in appreciation.

"Who is that?" Patty asked, looking at the picture carefully.

"It looks like BJ and Hawkeye." Louise McIntyre remarked thoughtfully as she started at the picture.

"It is." Margaret confirmed as she laughed heartily at the sight. Addressing her husband and his best friend she added. "You two look like a couple of drowned 'Swamp Rats'."

"Yes, it was a wonderful performance." Charles commented with a broad smile. "I loved it!"

"I'll bet you did!" Hawkeye exclaimed with a mischievous look on his face. "That is until Margaret had your beloved horn flattened." Charles expression sobered slightly at the memory.

"That must have been when you two wouldn't shower, right?" Peg asked her husband and his friend curiously.

"That's right." BJ chuckled. "That's when we were given a company bath."

"And believe me, they needed it!" Margaret remarked emphatically.

"Well, I must say." Peg laughed, giving her husband a sly look. "You were certainly very graceful about it!"

"If you think he's graceful in that picture." Klinger exclaimed eagerly. "Let me show you another picture that shows just how graceful BJ can really be."

At the sight of the new photo Peg's eyes widened in surprise. "BJ what pre-tell are you doing standing on a table in your underwear?"

"He was showing off for the ladies." Hawkeye explained with a large smile.

BJ was also looking at the picture with much surprise. "What was I doing? I don't remember that at all."

Hawkeye chuckled with amusement. "Not surprising since you were completely bombed at the time."

"But why am I stripping on a table?" BJ pressed.

"I told you to show me your tongue." Hawkeye commented, his expression suddenly deadpan.

"And that's why I'm striping on a table?"

"Well, that's what happened." Hawkeye replied with a sudden mischievous grin.

"Maybe this next shot will help jog your memory." Klinger commented to BJ as he switched the picture.

Hawkeye started laughing harder at the sight of BJ slumped on his stomach over a table while he gave him a shot in the backside.

"What are you doing to him?" Peg asked Hawkeye, a concerned look on her beautiful face.

Hawkeye stopped laughing long enough to explain. "The whole story is this. I was suppose to be checking him for Hepatitis. Father Mulcahy had come down with it and we wanted to head off an epidemic. I had told Beej to show me his tongue so I could see if it was yellow or not. He replied that showing me his tongue was small potatoes, he was going to show me his butt instead. Then he got up on the table and made some ridiculous speech about being the world's best surgeon and then dropped his pants and posed." At Peg's horrified expression he told her. "Part of the examination included giving him a shot of Gamma Globulian in the caboose." The woman's expression changed at that piece of information. "That explains Beej's extremely graceful position." Hawkeye chuckled slightly and added. "Actually, he was one of my easiest patients." Giving Margaret and Klinger sly looks he commented. "Klinger tried to kill me while I tried to examine him and Margaret..." He smiled with amusement. "Margaret refused to show me her tongue. I don't know what she thought I was going to do with it, but she would not show me her tongue. I even had a hard time convincing her to let me give her a shot in the backside, she was going to make me give it to her in the arm."

"Did you finally manage to convince her, Hawk?" BJ asked with an expectant chuckle.

"I did." His eyes danced wickedly as he added. "It was a dream come true."