Part Three - the three loons!

Klinger came bursting through the door like a bat out of hell. "Sir I know you don't want disturbing but you are not going to believe who I found in Sophie's paddock."

"At this point I will believe anything "was Coronal Potter's weary response.

"How's about if I said Frank Burns?"

"Ferret face. This night is just getting even better!" was BJ's sarcastic response.

"Frank. Frank is here? Now? In Sophie's Paddock?" was Margaret's response before Collapsing into a chair. Radar followed suit only the wall and then the floor was his place of choice. He gulped before saying "so we have three extra personnel in camp sir!" he muttered Confused.

"It would appear so. BUT WHY?!" Said Coronal Potter

"Where are we going to put them all" Radar said. He didn't have long to Contemplate the problem as there was the sounds of gun fire. All six people in Coronal Potters office rushed out to the door in Radar's office. With three people not known for being smart about it did not sound promising. That was reinforced when people started screaming.

They found the source of the ruckus in the swamp. It was not a pretty sight either. Coronal Flagg and Frank Burns where stood aiming guns at each other. Frank looked pretty messed up he had cuts and bruises all over him. Donald Penobscott under the influence of way too much alcohol . In his right hand he held a rabbit's Corpse. In his left hand he had a headless chicken that he was using to smear blood on his face. The sight of this was too much for Radar and he passed out into the arms of Hawkeye and BJ. Charles was stood outside the swamp with Nurse Kellye whom was looking at his arm.

"Just who are those three imbeciles in there" Charles was asking.

"The messed up one Frank Burns, the one with the animals is Donald Penobscott. hey both had relations with the lovely Major Houlihan. The other one in the uniform is Coronal Flagg. I bet any money he was the one who shot you." Klinger explained quietly. "What I want to know is what the hell they are doing in there, in fact here?!"

That was a question everyone wanted answers to. However they still had to deal with the situation at hand. They somehow managed to get away without anyone else getting hurt and ran into Radar's office. (BJ carried Radar who was still out Cold.)

"Anyone know if those things are loaded?" Someone asked.

"Well they are Pierce and Hunnicutt's." Charles provided.

"Mine isn't. You all know how much I hate them things" Hawkeye provided.

"Neither is mine now. It only had one bullet in. Lucky we stored the ammo elsewhere after what happened last time Frank had a gun in there" BJ provided as he carefully laid Radar down on the bed.

"Okay what about yours Charles." Hawkeye asked.

"Its loaded but they would have to actually get my footlocker open first." With that he moved his dog tags to reveal the key on a chain.

"No wonder I Couldn't find the key!" Hawkeye exclaimed.

"Okay ladies and schoolboys let's find out what we can work out. If anyone has any idea what the hells happening START TALKING!" Potter said.

They All looked at each other; there was quite a crowd in the office now. Margaret finally spoke up.

"Donald was in my tent earlier. I was asleep and he woke me up Coming in. he had this manic look in his eyes and was carrying these animals with him. He said they came from the cages, Radar's I guess, and he killed them with his bare hands. That's when I lost it and started screaming. He told me that he missed me, loved me even and that he was going to get me back one way or another. Then there was a disturbance outside and he ran out. Oh my God, Oh my God" she kept mumbling to herself. Hawkeye gently give her a hug and eased her into a chair. Sherman passed her a shot of whiskey. Everyone looked shaken so he dolled out some for everyone.

Hawkeye spoke up next. "Well I, Beej and Klinger heard her screaming so I went over to her tent whilst Beej came over here. Radar was screaming to. On my way over I saw Flagg hiding in some bushes. I thought it would be best to ignore him; maybe I was wrong though if his holding a gun at Franks head. There was someone else in the bushes to but I didn't see who."

"It can't have been Frank. I found him asleep in Sophie's paddock. He looked a mess but I thought he got transferred home. Anyways I didn't want to be seen by him. His crazier than me so I came to find you sir." Klinger inputted.

Winchester spoke up next. "After suffering the indignaty of administering the Contents of that syringe into that creature I went to the officers club. I went looking for a drop of something better than the swill in the swamp. Of Course I was out of luck but I stayed anyway. Well father Mulcahy was slaughtering the simply wonderful"

"Get on with it Winchester!" Sherman said

"Very well I decided to go back to the swamp and there I discovered them three idiots. To think that one of them was laid in my bed to! I was on my way to get someone to remove them and I got shot for my trouble!" Winchester Concluded.

"How about you Kellye. What where you doing walking about?" Margaret asked, she had regained her Composure and was in head Nurse mode again.

"I Couldn't get to sleep. I was a bit shaken from what happened with your horse sir" She looked at Sherman sheepishly and quickly continued. "I went for a walk, to see the animals. Animals calm me down but it was a mess around the cages. I know Radar loves them and wouldn't leave them like that. I was going to find someone to help me tidy it up before he found the state it was in before I took my shift in post op. then as I was walking back to my tent I heard the gun fire. Major Winchester was shouting so I go to see if he was hurt. I saw he was bleeding in his arm so I went to go and help him. Then I noticed Major Burns in one of the beds and the other two men are talking. Then it all got heated and everyone's pointing guns at each other. That's when you all came along." She Concluded.

"So what are we going to do sir?" Klinger asked.

"Winchester how is your arm?" Sherman asked.

"He has just grazed it, lucky it doesn't even need stitches." BJ Concluded, he had been looking at Charles arm whilst Kellye had been talking.

"How's Radar?" asked Margaret curious.

As she said it, she got her answer. Radar came through literally kicking and screaming "HENRY" He shouted at the top of his voice.

"Awake" Concluded a wincing Hawkeye as he and BJ moved to calm Radar.

"Hey easy now, how are you feeling?" BJ asked.

Radar took a deep breath "Okay I guess" He responded. He was obviously shaken and slightly Confused. They did not look Convinced but there were other problems to deal with.

"Kellye are you okay to do your shift?" Potter asked.

"Yes sir, I will go now" She responded. She exited to relieve Nurse Able. On Nurse Able way out she pointed out a patient she was worried about. It was Winchesters patient so he went to check and Complete the rounds in the post op.

Back | Forward